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Daddy in Denver: Day One

Today is Day One, of all by myself week.

 

I’ve been having a hard time lately. Stressed out, overwhelmed, and overloaded more than usual over the past few weeks. Some days it is so bad, that my only goal is to make it until 5 o’clock without yelling and screaming like a banshee. At least when Dad comes home, Mom can get a few minutes quiet or rest. Some days Most days I have not been making it until five without feeling completely overloaded.

 

Of course at the worst possible time, hubby needs to go to training for his job for a week.  And, I only had one week’s notice, which for me is not enough. He had more notice, but when he read the email that was sent to him about the training he misread it, and didn’t realize that it was Colorado. So, now he is on a plane to Denver, and I am here unprepared and frantic for the week.

Life of an Autistic Mom

Mr. Aspie Writer in the plane over Chicago

 

Now I do not need to make it until five o’clock; I need to make it until Friday at 8 o’clock. I feel completely panicked. I don’t want to be the raving lunatic mom all week long!

 

This isn’t starting out so well either. First, he had to catch a plane at 7:30 a.m. this morning, but in order to make it that meant leaving home at 3:30 a.m. The baby didn’t go to sleep until after midnight, and just about when I was nodding off around two, his alarm went off. Being tired and overwhelmed, that did me in.  I was a ball of tears like a big idiot for no reason. Well, I had reason, just none that would really make sense to him.

 

I feel like most days we are just all sitting around the house waiting for Dad to come home from work. I know no-one here, go no-where, do nothing…so yes, that is pretty much all I do. I get up in the morning, and wait for 5 pm. Maybe this is a little bit of an exaggeration but when that is what every day feels like, it doesn’t feel exaggerated. So now I feel like I am getting up and waiting for the day to pass for the sun to go down to go to bed and do it all over again the next day.

 

By the time hubby left at 3:30, I was wide awake again so I finished reading The Blood of the Fold. It the third book in the Sword of Truth Series by Terry Goodkind. (Now I need to get the fourth book or I will have nothing to read all week) The phone rings at 4:30, of course just when I’m about to fall back asleep. Hubby left his suitcase home! Yes–you read that right, he left his suitcase home! He was not too happy when I bust out laughing and I am still laughing now. Unfortunately for him, he was already half way to the airport and had to turn back around, come home, grab the suitcase and then try to make his flight.

 

5:00 am, hubby gets home bursts throw the front door, waking me up, gets his suitcase and now he is off–again. 6:00 a.m. alarm goes off, time to wake little guy up and get him ready for school. I hit snooze, again, and again, and again. Hubby calls at 7:00 a.m. getting ready to board the plane. Now, I have no choice I have to drag my ass out of bed because we need to be in the van at 7:15 in order to get little guy to school.

 

I am proud to say the little man went calmly walking into school on time, and mama is sitting here with her hair sticking up out of her head, a half of cup of coffee streaked down the side of her shirt (because the stupid travel mug was leaking all over me on the way to school). Although I am exhausted I don’t dare lay my head back down on the pillow. I know what will happen if I do… the minute my eyes close, the littlest guy of mine will jump up and I will be more tired than I am now!

 

I’m hoping this day gets better from here.

 

This week’s goals:

 

Don’t panic (that is a challenge)

Don’t yell and scream at the kids all week (ya right!)

Hit every kids eat free dinner in town all week (I am not cooking!)

 

 

And dang it, get my lazy ass in gear and get to work.  I have a lot of writing to do, and find every excuse in the world to not get it done.  I have an article to send out, three short stories to revise, not to mention pulling my novel apart to begin the revision process.  Plus, Reflections of Me, will never be completed if I don’t actually sit down at my keyboard and keep writing.  (Ok, truth is I write everything long hand, then type it)

 

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.

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