• Understanding Autism from the Inside

    “Academics came easily to me. The rest of life—not so much.”
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No Bank Card, No Diagnosis!

Please bear with me a moment as I get to my point… I need to take the time to sharpen my sword. Sharing my experiences through my writing is the only real weapon I have–so I am now preparing to wield it.
As most of you know, I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome after 38 years of struggling to figure out “what was wrong with me.” No one saw the signs; no one put the pieces together–until I did. I’ve been ignored, patronized, ridiculed, misdiagnosed, and medicated into complete madness. I have a deep distrust for doctors in general, and it is very difficult for me to trust one enough to have confidence in their words. During all this madness, I thought I had seen it all, but I was WRONG!
I completely trust my current doctor, which says a lot, but it has taken several years to build that trust. He does not evaluate or treat children, it is not his specialty, but he has seen all my boys and agrees with me that they are probably somewhere on the autism spectrum as well. My husband and I have been searching for someone here in Florence, SC, who has experience, and/or is willing to evaluate the boys. The school district says it is the pediatrician’s job, and the pediatrician says it is done through the school system! 

 

Our Insurance Covers Evaluation and Services

Mr. Aspie Writer has excellent health insurance, which will cover the expense of an evaluation, so he did a little searching on the internet and found a place that was willing to evaluate them. This morning we had an appointment at Life Care Psychology Group, in Florence SC. I provided the link to their website to ensure that I am talking about a real place, and what I am saying is the truth–I stand behind the words that I write.

 

When my husband called for the appointment, he verified that they will do the evaluations. He told them that I had Asperger’s Syndrome and we strongly suspect that the boys may also. He was told that they wanted to see us all together as a family first, and then will proceed to perform individual evaluations, asked for my name, and made the appointment– 9:30 a.m. this morning.

The

Morning Began Badly

I should have known that the day was going to go terribly wrong when the alarm from my cellphone woke me up. That could mean only one thing–it was 8:00 a.m., not 7:00 a.m., which is when we intended to get everyone up and try to get the tribe ready and out of the house. Mr. Aspie Writer checked his alarm, which sure was set for 7:00 a.m. — on Sunday!

We jumped out of bed, got the boys up, bathed and ready to leave the house. Impressed with ourselves that it was just before 9:00 a.m. we herded them to the car. Dry cereal in bowls, travel mugs full of milk, coffee, sippy cups, baby bottles, notepads and pens (I need to take notes), the ipad for little to watch Nick Jr., phone, purse, keys, ear plugs, rose sunglasses–even in the rain, which disguised my dripping wet hair, seatbelts were buckled–we were set.
When we arrived at the office, luckily it is only a few minutes away, I stood in line to get to the window where I supposed I would be handed a clipboard, pen, and stack of papers to fill out. Eight minutes later, I was still standing there–now before you wonder why I am nitpicking at the eight minutes, let me tell you.
When it was our turn the woman behind the glass enclosure politely said, “Can I help you?”

“Hi, we’re “The Aspie Family”; we have a 9:30 a.m. appointment.” Mr. Aspie Writer said.

In front of the woman was a manila folder with a label with my name on it, she handed me the clipboard, and I asked, “Do I need to fill out one set of papers for each child?”
The confused look on her face said it all. They had no idea that we were there to evaluate the children; they had MY name and thought they were evaluating me. When I explained to them that is not what we were there for, she promptly told me that my appointment was for 9:00 a.m. and it was 9:18 a.m. already and by the time I fill out the paperwork it may be too late to see me.
I tried to be nice and explain that we thought the appointment was for 9:30 a.m. She took back the clipboard and had me wait over to the side, without giving me the paperwork to fill out. Another office worker came from the back to explain that they have to talk to the Dr. to see if he is willing to see us because we are late and it will take a while to fill out the paperwork. (I am expecting there to be a mound of papers to fill out.)
Now it was after 9:30 a.m., so I asked her give me the papers while she is checking so I could fill them out while we are waiting to see if the doctor will see us. That way if he does, the dang paperwork they are making such a big deal over would already be done.

 

I don’t see how this is a difficult concept to understand…give me the darn papers so I can fill them out and if he sees us then they will already be done, it’s not rocket science people! But instead–we waited some more. Finally, the doctor came out introduced himself and the woman gave me the paperwork to start. I scribbled it all in quickly (by the way it was only three pages, which included information on two children). At this point you would think that obstacle had been hurdled, and we would be on our way into the office, but you would be wrong.

You Want My Banking Information; Why?

 

The last page of the paperwork was a form to fill out in which I was to write my credit or debit number, name, expiration date, and three digit security code from the back of my card. A list of questions that I needed to agree to included them explaining that if you miss appointments the insurance company will not pay for the visit and that I agree to give them permission to automatically charge my debit card (not for the co-pay), but for the full price of the appointment that I missed.
I did not sign this paper. There was a place to initial if you did not have a card. That is what I initialed, and handed the clipboard with all the forms back to the receptionist behind the glass. As we were about to follow the doctor back into the office, the woman behind the glass calls me back to the window to ask me about the banking information form. I told her I did not a credit card, (which I don’t). By this time, another woman working there came over, and the doctor walked behind the counter where the woman was. She asked if I had a bank account or debit card, I said I did, but was not going to leave my bank information. I am paying my co-payment in cash for the visit.
That is where things went bad. I was told that if I had a card, I HAD to give them that information. The information was going to be used for FUTURE visits. If for any reason I don’t show up to a future appointment, then they will automatically charge my debit card for the visit. I told them there was no way I was going to do that, besides, we didn’t even know if there would be any future appointments. Really, what if I did not like the doctor? 
They preceded to lecture me that this is the way doctor’s offices work, that I am required to give the information and authorization to charge my card if I want to be seen. Keep in mind, I have insurance, I have cash in my hand for the co-pay, all I did not want to do was leave a debit card on file to be automatically charged for future appointments.
I have been to more doctors than I can count, and never in my life have I had to provide banking information in the event I miss a future appoint or advanced authorization for them to debit my checking account and I told them so. To which the reply was another lecture about how psychotherapy works.
They actually told me that unlike regular doctor’s office; they do not schedule more than one person in a time slot and in the future if I make an appointment and do not keep it, then there is not another patient waiting to be seen for that time slot. If I don’t show up, the doctor will have no way to recover his money for that appointment if I don’t leave my bank card. I was told in no uncertain terms I would not be seen unless I agreed to this, and this is how ALL doctor’s office work.
She spoke to me like I was an idiot, or a small child who didn’t understand the way the world works. After living 38 years, bearing three children, and dealing with multiple medical and psychological issues (I hate that ASD’s are considered a psychological issues by the way!), I couldn’t possibly have been to a doctor’s office!
I snatched my kids up and we were out of there! Of course, I was shaking with anger and in tears before we hit the street; upset and discouraged because I had dared to hope that there would be someone who could help start this evaluation process for my boys!

Not to mention that my husband had to take a day off of work for this appointment and I wound up having to take my 8 year old to school late without a doctor’s note!

Now that the anger is subsiding (a little), I’m started to feel that whole depressive helpless black cloud around my head. I hate this, and wish there was something more I could do! The only thing I thought to do was to share what we experienced today with anyone who will listen–or read! This is my sword, and I am wielding it!

A part of me says that I shouldn’t ask others to share their horror stories, that I should be uplifting, inspirational and encouraging.  But, many times it truly helps us to be heard, even when it is just to complain about the injustice of it all and know that we are not alone.

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.

7 Comments:

  1. Before this morning, I had thought I’d seen it all with these doctors. I was wrong!

    Those 24 hour policies are pretty standard, call or get a bill. That’s not a problem. And I can almost see if I was a patient there who routinely misses appointments, doesn’t pay the bills, and still wants to come in and be seen. I could understand them asking for something to ensure that I show up.

    But–to not see us, when we are there, insurance card and co-pay in hand because I would agree to give banking info for future visits that don’t yet exist is unbelievable. They did not even say in order to make future appointments we need this information…they wouldn’t see my family today and we were standing there.

    I’m still shaking my head, I was there, I heard it, I saw it, but I am still having trouble making myself believe it! And they seemed appalled at me!

    I’m wondering if most patients don’t just fill out the forms, take out their debit cards, and hand over the information without thinking about it or challenging it. Or, maybe they don’t read the entire forms? I don’t know, but I can’t believe I am the only who has ever challenged this practice!

    It’s awesome being different, isn’t it?

  2. I live in South Africa so things probably work a little differently here. My psychiatrist is awesome, I don’t have medical aid and being an only parent (so one income) finances are almost non existent, she let’s me pay off my sessions as she knows my meds cost me an arm and leg a month.
    I am very thankful I was diagnosed earlier but I still suffered through 23 years of thinking I was a “freak of nature”. With it being genetic I am going to have my son tested as soon as possible, that way I’ll be able to help him cope so much better. Hope you find someone to evaluate your kids, have you tried a psychiatrist?

    • That is my feeling too, it is genetic, and there are many Aspie moms with children on the spectrum and I don’t want my boys going through the life that I did. I was only diagnosed a short time ago, and at first a self-diagnosis (now confirmed).

      It took 38 years, and I know I don’t have to tell you how painful all those years thinking you are a “freak”, “terrible person”, “horrible mother”, and the list goes on…feels like.

      I have already neglected to get them evaluated early. I always saw my youngest son’s odd behavior as normal. Why? Because that is what I was like when I was a kid, or that is what I did…and look at me, I’m fine. Well there is a measuring stick for you–I was sooo not fine.

  3. The doctors around here will bill you for missed appointment that you didn’t call and cancel. Obviously, the insurance company won’t pay it, but the doctor will send you a bill. You know up front that there will be a bill coming, but NONE OF THEM automatically charge your card or debit your account. That’s insane!

    I certainly hope you are able to find a decent office to work with, and a good doctor to evaluate your sons. Surely there are others who are more understanding and less asinine in their treatment of new patients.

  4. I’m sorry you had to go through that and no wonder you feel like you do today.

    I have never experienced that from a medical perspective – having them take my card details so they can charge me if I don’t turn up – but they do tell me about their no show policy which kind of amounts to the same thing. However they could have managed this a lot better.

    It is the way we are treated in these situations and you weren’t treated with consideration or even common sense. If you walk in there and feel that you are being held in suspicion right from the get go, how does that bode well for the future?

    I hope you can sort something out and get the evaluations happening.

    • Sometimes I wonder who taught people how to treat other people? It baffles me, really. They could have handled this so much differently, instead of talking to me like I was a complete idiot.

      Granted, no matter how much tact they could have used, I was still not going to give them my banking information. But guess what?

      Now that doctor lost that block of time anyway, because he didn’t see us. If he had, he would have received my co-pay, AND charged my insurance company for visits for BOTH my boys.

      Instead, he rec’d nothing, and lost two new patients. It makes no sense. Add to it that he made me furious and I will tell everyone who will listen now what happened and discourage them from going there.

      I would love to ask them, was it worth it?

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