I have scoured the internet looking for what is written about asperger’s/autism and pregnancy and I could find nothing. Being pregnant (again) with our fourth child, I think now is as good a time as any to start talking about pregnancy and autism.
I found plenty of information claiming that autism is linked to pregnancy in obese woman, to diabetes in pregnancy, to the flu during pregnancy, which I believe is all rubbish. But—there is nothing to be found about the autistic pregnant woman. Hello world—we get pregnant, we have children, and there are things that our bodies process differently than our neuro-typical counterparts during pregnancy.
I like to tell people that having olfactory sensory issues (smell) is like being a pregnant woman all the time. My sense of smell is always heightened, and my gag reflex in overdrive. For those NT women who have experience horrible sensitivities to smell accompanied by nausea and vomiting throughout their pregnancy, they have experience a smidgen of what I experience as a normal everyday occurrence.
Every woman’s experience with their pregnancies is different and being autistic makes no difference in this area for me. Each of my pregnancies was completely different, but some things were strangely the same.
During my first three pregnancies, I felt great! My sensitivities were dulled. I did not gag on horrid smells as bad as I usually do, and I had virtually zero nausea and vomiting. This pregnancy, however, is a whole other story.
I have been sick to my stomach, tired, achy, and gag on every smell that drifts past my nose. The interesting part though is that I am not gagging on the same smells I usually do. Tuna for instance—I can’t stand the smell of tuna. I cannot even make it for Aspie Teen, who loves tuna sandwiches, because I will smell tuna all around me for the whole day. I can’t handle it.
Aspie Teen almost fell on the floor when I popped up in bed and asked him if he could make Mommy a tuna sandwich. Yes, odd that I would eat the tuna at all but I can blame that on the pregnancy. What I found more interesting is that I was able to smell the tuna without feeling a hint of displeasure.
Salami on the other hand, well let’s just say I won’t be buying my weekly half pound of Salami for the next nine months.
So—to all the pregnant autistic woman—did you notice any changes in your sensory processing? Anything that you can point out that may be different from your NT counterpart’s pregnancies—or do you think we can just chalk it all up to every pregnancy is different??
For me, I think the pregnancy exacerbates the sensory issues, and the fatigue lowers my overload threshold. But on a brighter note, I am hypo-sensitive to pain, which I believe worked to my advantage when birthing without pain medication.
Please leave your comments, I am curious to hear your stories!
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Yes! I’m on pregnancy number 2 and my tolerance of my sensory issues has lowered and it takes longer for me to get over the overload. It happened with my first and thought maybe it’s just this pregnancy but it’s happening again, currently lying under my weighted blanket after touching raw chicken over an hour ago, everything is heightened and to be honest, I’m struggling
Thank you very much for sharing about this, much needed.
I think the Asperger’s can actually work in our favor periodically.
With my first, I was very anxious and ended up with 8 days of false labor – made worse because I was focused on EVERY SINGLE CONTRACTION…
With my 2nd, I researched it all out, came up with a plan (which bore minimal resemblance to what happened), realized that I was on my own for early labor. I got up, got DD#1 up and out the door, and worked for 7 hours before driving home and catching my baby myself 2 hours later. Yes, I was having contractions every 10-15 minutes or so, and yes they were getting worse, but because my Aspie mind knew the purpose behind them, and knew why I wasn’t getting anxious about them (figuring 3 more days to go), it went super fast. I knew what I needed to do, I had my coping mechanisms figured out, and my baby was born at home because we had no time to get to the hospital.
Thank you so much for writing and publishing this. Everything on the internet about autism and pregnancy is unhelpful, ableist garbage. I have always been so high performing in school and good at stomaching my feelings and faking it that my autism/spd was overlooked and undiagnosed all growing up. I don’t know what the prognosis or treatments for this disorder typically are, but for me my processing has gotten worse over the years, esp. during times of stress or hormonal changes. I have never been in hell like this, halfway through my pregnancy. I am extremely irritated by the sensation of ceiling fans even on the lowest setting: I experience a strong feeling of vertigo as if i am in a whirlwind. As a child i was very picky and later eating disorder programs seemed to completely miss the point of my motivations. Today i am vegetarian with strong food aversions, and i hardly ever eat out because i can taste meat or onions on other ingredients. Indeed, eating out at all is a nightmare of blaring lights and sounds that intrude upon all my senses and peace. I think i experience something akin to nails on a chalkboard when i hear overhead radio music. I spend 99% of my life in a darkly lit room because i become a vampire in sunlight and my eyes tear up from the pain. I also need to be closed in a tight space, not sure if thats related. I feel incredibly stressed and violated by the slightest physical touch from my partner. I especially cannot stand the sight, sound or feeling of kisses, sneezes, or other bodily functions. It is all a terrible assault on my privacy, my sanity, my peace. It gets really depressing and its debilitated me from several attempts at working. For example I’ve been written up for not wearing a bra (i cannot stand the feeling of bras, tags or zippers). World was not built for the disabled (or women). I have a headache right now from a nutrient deficiency and the harsh light of this tablet on its dimmest setting. i feel itchy and uncomfortable everywhere–too hot there, too cold there, restless legs, i swear i felt a tiny crumb but i cant find it–and as a result i haven’t slept all night, and im sure i sound crazy and I believe i am becoming so! Anyone??
Interesting, I’m not on the spectrum (that I know of), but I do have heightened senses most of the time. Pregnancy has worsened that- I even great at the smell of the Christmas tree. 🙁 thanks for sharing your experience and shedding some light.
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I wish you wrote more about this. I am looking at my 3rd pregnancy and hopefully 1st child and freaking out! I am spectrum with a few other issues and am desperately doing research to find out more ways to help myself cope. I am only 11 weeks so it’s early days but research is so scarce that I am making it a long term project.
I am definitely having a harder time maintaining control over my senses as well as breaking down more easily. I have been trained (yes like a dog and the dog’s training was far kinder) in how to act “normal” at all times. I can usually control myself well enough that I am only a little “weird”. Lately I have been triggering sensory overloads (sight and sound for me, not much on smells, actually less triggered by smells right now as well lol) far more often than usual. I have been showing my distress signs and needing more quiet time than usual as well. I am ADHD so I am normally overloading myself by existing and being pregnant and so much less in control due to hormones is just exhausting.
I am thinking about how to remain in control while soothing myself during labor ect. and am looking into different sensorial tools to help. I am currently thinking about washcloths of different textures for a sort of dry brushing, something to chew on (embarrassing moment to admit you need a chew toy to cope some days), and clay or other materials for my hands to work with.
Could you write more about your experiences with all of your children. I am debating on turning this into a Project with a capital P to quote my students. We need more resources especially since the level of Aspie and spectrum kids and therefore adults is on the rise.
Thank you so much!
Hi Lashley,
I think your ideas for coping are great! You do whatever you need to, and whatever feels good without embarrassment or apology!
If you’d like to talk more about a project, perhaps even writing about and chronicling your own experiences while you go…contact me at my email: [email protected]
And to make autistic pregnancies even more confusing, some symptoms get worse with age while others lesses. So are the sensory issues better or worse because of expecting a baby, just getting older with sensory issues, or a combination of the two? In addition to how must pregnancies vary somewhat in the first place! The phrase that haunts my life is “where to draw the line”, and I swear if I ever find that line I’m gonna give it a good smack for causing me so much frustration with so many subjects!
Hello! I’m Autistic and 35 weeks pregnant with my first. I do have meltdowns and panic attacks so I’m a little worried about that and if the doctors sedate me if it will be stressful for the baby. My partner and I talked about it last night and agreed to discuss it this week with our new doctor (we changed a month ago because our previous doctor was unfavorable). My sensory sensitivities were definitely worse in my first to early second trimester so I started Occupational Therapy. They got much better in my second to the point where I had no panic attacks or meltdowns at all for months! Now in my third though, the sensitivities have returned with a vengeance, to the point where I couldn’t even enjoy my Easter family get together which I normally do. We’re having a service dog trained for me starting this next month so fingers crossed that will allow me to be able to go out again and cope better! An Autistic friend of mine has a service dog and she said it changed her life so we’re very hopeful. 🙂
Congratulations on your baby! I am confident that you will do just fine. Remember that YOU know you and your body best and for us Aspies knowledge is our superpower. For me, I delivered three completely natural, no pain meds or anything and the key was to move around and do what felt right. I for one wanted QUIET, and the sound of hubby blathering on and on drove me bonkers. LOL I had to move, walk, rock back and forth, and breath…lots of breathing exercises. Pain medication for me and anything that makes me feel weird causes serious panic attacks so much worse than the pain itself that is for sure!
With my fourth, I had a separated pelvis and could not do it without an epidural, and was sent home with some pain meds. (perocet) I had awful panic attacks all night long for several nights after I gave birth, and they finally stopped when I dumped the pain meds. Of course this is not everyone’s reaction but it was mine. The epidural did take away the pain, but made me feel very hot. It was alright though and I made it through the whole thing, and the most important part is that you will too!! Good luck!
Morning sickness? What morning sickness? I get sneezing, nose bleeds, and gum bleeds! No other symptoms. No swelling, digestive issues like heartburn, or anything. It even dulled my pancreas to where I could eat sugar again without getting dizzy or trying to black out. Until the baby was born, and then back to rationing carbs. Still trying to get somebody to take me seriously and test why that is.
Sensory issues and BS tolerance remained the same.
My first pregnancy was wonderful, everything felt great, it seemed like he fixed everything that was ever wrong! LOL As I got older, the pregnancies were much harder on my body, sensitives, everything. At least that is what I was blaming it on, but the truth is probably just closer to that all pregnancies are different. It is not uncommon though for symptoms of other ills to disappear during pregnancy and return (sometimes with vengeance) afterwards.
Hi
My partner has just found out that she is pregnant and has Aspergers. She is very very worried and scared at the the moment I am reassuring her the best I can. I was wondering if there is advice for her to help her cope in through out this.
I am a student midwife and am considering a project on caring for an autistic pregnant woman. I am very interested in the sensory side of things and how I would be expected to care for or overcome sensory issues for an autistic person if the issues actually affected my care, eg if she hates being touched how do I palpate her tummy?
Hi Heidi,
I had midwives with my first two boys, and did just fine. Not all autistic women do not like being touched, and whether we want touch will depend on the moment truly…the best thing about the midwives for me where them just being there. During my labor I didn’t really want to hear anyone talk (during the really hard part that –transition to pushing) before that I just walked and rocked and talked so it was OK. For my third, I had an OB because of the worsening of my gestational diabetes, and the lack of midwives in the area we were living at the time…but I did have a doula, who actually said that I didn’t need her. She just sat by and watched and talked, and now that I think about it didn’t do much touching. It was just being there made me feel better…. The fourth boy…just me, the hubby, and the doc. That was the only birth I accepted any pain meds (they give me panic attacks) but I did take an epidural during that labor because of my separated pelvis, and the need to take it easy and slow as not to do any permanent damage and to avoid a c-section at all costs. Again, don’t forget, like everyone else, each autistic women is different–for example many could not will not go for messages, and I don’t mind them (no not during hard labor) but before was fine. Some may not mind the tummy palpitations, others may just need to you to be there and calmly talk them through it.
I hope that more midwives desire to know about women on the spectrum and their pregnancies. I wish my midwife had cared enough. I remember crying and screaming as she jabbed her thumbs into my back during the contractions. I tried my bets to let her know I didn’t like it but she kept on doing it. I had failure to progress on top of it all. Now, seven years and two other children later, I wonder if failure to progress is common in autistic mothers? And if the problem can be remedied by simply accomodating our sensory needs and limitations?
Hi Hilary,
I do not know if failure to progress is common, as it wasn’t a problem in my situation. However, you make an excellent point about accommodating our sensory needs, as I think with all women, the more comfortable and relaxed during labor and deliver the easier it can be. There are of course problems that are unavoidable at times, but comfort to me is very important. Oh yes, and I likely would’ve kicked your midwife! I didn’t want to be touched, and if you told her you didn’t like what she was doing, she should have stopped!
Hi Heidi, where are you a midwife? I am 10 weeks pregnant and looking for someone more holistic who understands the importance of taking Asperger’s into account. If you by chance take clients/are interested in helping me as part of your project you could write to me at [email protected]. I def. hate the tummy palpations as they are normally done – they are done for NT nonsensitive types!
There really is no information about this out there. I’m so glad you wrote.
I just had my second child 5 days ago and I have to say, I’m both shocked and grieved that it was such a badly intense experience for me. I always wanted a big family and now I’m questioning ever getting pregnant again.
I don’t know what to do.
With my first, I was induced because I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to feel the pain escalate and we’d end up having the baby at home. I have a very high pain tolerance usually and had had contractions the whole month before and could never tell when they were escalating, my body just constantly stayed on overload and they were just painful. So I had pitocin and an 11 hour labor and an epidural that stopped working after a few hours, and I thought that surely next time I had a child, as long as I didn’t get induced, the labor would be easier on me.
But this time we did a home birth, with a tub and everything and I had a 5 and 1/2 hour labor that was so intense and painful it felt as bad as pitocin.
My husband finally brought up last night that perhaps it just has to do with my Aspergers.
Is there anyone else that dealt with this? Is there any tools to cope with the pain that overcome sensory issues?? :/
Your sensory issues may indeed be making your pain worse…i find I have a very high tolerance for pain. My first three pregnancies I birthed with no pain meds at all…it was hard, and I found that I did find while I could deep breathe through the contractions (AS LONG AS NO ONE SPOKE TO ME), until the point that my vomiting took over (which is always did) then I couldn’t deep breathe and would start to panic–but truthfully the pain meds made me panic more! With my fourth I did take the epidural because I had a separated pelvis which was worse pain then any of the births! I thought my pelvic bone would explode from the pressure so I finally agreed to the epidural, which did help –however, the pain afterwards was worse than with the other three and the pain relievers caused severe panic attacks and anxiety! I will take pain over panic any day of the week.
I did find that walking helped me with the pain and stopping to rock back and forth during contractions, along with making noise…grunting, humming, growling (i know it sounds odd but the vibrations of the sounds made me feel better.)
Omg I love you for this post, this aspie pregnant twice now has heightened sensory an anxiety. Smell to the point of bloody nose feelings, stress an anxiety shutting me down more than norm, I can’t drive at night an always avoiding sun well my photosensitivity is crazy badand my gag anf taste issues are so much worse . I kno this is worse than the normal “abnormal” changes bc other pregnant woman I’ve asked are not as severe symptoms.
I have Aspergers and am 27 weeks pregnant with my first child. The smells have been hard to deal with, but my worst sensory issue has been the baby kicking. It is very difficult to deal with even though it is often painless. Someone touching me without warning is hard enough, them touching my bladder is horrendous.
My daughter is aspie and expecting her baby in July. She has real problems with pain with a really low threshold. I’m worried about her during labour. Can u offer any advice or how to approach midwife about pain relief or section. Thanks Julie
I went through my first three labor and deliveries completely medication-free, but for my fourth I had a separated pelvis and SPD. I could not breathe through the pain and finally, albeit, reluctantly, consented to an epidural. It was wonderfully pain-free from there on, and I was almost gitty. I even punched my husband in the arm for letting me do the first three in pain. LOL Seriously though be open and honest with the midwife. Don’t be afraid to ask for or accept the pain meds. I think if you discuss it in advance everyone will know what to expect (especially your daughter–you know how much knowing what to expect means to us).
I can say that I did want to be fairly alone and in a very quiet environment when I was dealing with the pain of labor. I didn’t even want my husband to talk to me, and I needed to keep moving around, which is something I had to sacrifice with the epidural. BTW the epidural IMO DID PROLONG my labor. My last labor was the longest of the four, kind of backwards I know, but I do believe it was the epi that slowed it down. That said, I didn’t care that I was there hours longer because I was not in pain all those hours. I am sure your daughter will do wonderfully!
There is a chapter on pregnancy in the book “Nursing of Autism Spectrum Disorder” by Giarelli & Gardner. As you have been saying there is little published on this topic.
I’m so happy I found something like this!!! My husband and I are getting ready to start trying to get pregnant. I hadn’t even begun to think about if pregnancy would be differant for me because of the Aspergers, it was actually my manager (and good friend) that pointed it out. For instance, I’m a very emotional person. The things that trigger most of my break downs are anger, guilt, frustration, and stress. I’m always happy, but I cry at everything. I can’t watch the episode of Bones where Vincent dies without bawling my eyes out and I’ve seen that episode a million times. My manager wondered if maybe since you get an increase in hormones when you are pregnant, that this will mean my break downs may be more frequent or more severe. I have a kinda sensitive sense of smell, but for the most part my sensory issues lie in texture (in my mouth for the most part) and sound. Did any of you experience an increase or decrease in either of these sensitivities? I’m also wanting to do a natural birth (possibly home birth) with no medications of any kind if I can. I already have a pretty high pain tolerance, did any of you become more or less sensitive to pain?
Thank you so much for writing this! I have had so much trouble finding any information for pregnant women with Asperger’s. Can I ask you something? My sensitivity is most tactile. I can feel the slightest thing. I felt ALL my babies move at 12-14 weeks and everyone was telling me I was imagining things. I know I wasn’t. Anyway, that should show how sensitive I am. This is great for feeling baby move…but awful for labor, as you can imagine. Anyway, my question is, I had meds with both my other births, but with my current baby I would really like to do things med-free. Any labor tips for an Aspie with tactile sensitivities? Thanks in advance 🙂
There really is so little information for pregnant Aspies, so I hope that I can be of some help. I have to tell you, this is the first time (with my fourth) that I had medication during the labor and delivery and the epidural made me feel all warm and fuzzy. So much so that I wondered why in the hell I waited until I was 8 1/2 cm to accept the darn thing. I would take the epidural again if I were to have another (I’m not because I am done).
That said, I have tacile sensitivities as well–quite severe. The thing that helped me the most was deep breathing (until the vomiting started and I couldn’t breath anymore), rocking back and forth (while standing something I could not do with an epidural), and keeping everyone really quiet. I didn’t want to hear anyone talk. I wanted quiet while I was in pain. Moving around was very helpful too.
Hi there,
I don’t mean to veer off-topic, however I am really desperate to see if anyone can offer some direction to the topic of women with asperger’s who have serious, overwhelming aversions to the concept of being pregnant and how, if at all, it can be dealt with. The thought of raising a child is great, but I have a complete meltdown when I consider the procress of procuring that child into the world. The issue is becoming more and more pressing as I reach the point in my life where marriage is imminent, and thus, childbearing will follow close behind. I really want to at least try to deal with this. My choices are risk going insane during pregnancy, or risk feeling that (regardless of what he says) that my spouse secretly will resent me if I am unable to come to terms with this issue. Any help, thoughts, direction or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Best,
KJS
its funny that you wrote this because i was thinking all night last night and this morning of writing a post. so i wrote a short one. http://alwaysaspiegirl.blogspot.com/2013/01/being-pregnant-with-symptoms.html
yeah, when im pregnant, i have very low tolerance for BS. LOLi normally love my cats. now, i hate my cats. i hate them. they drive me crazy. one yowls at night, waking me up the instant the yowl begins. like a baby’s cry. what – is she trying to help me practice? i end up storing her toys on a shelf near the bed and whipping them at her when she starts yowling.the other is just nuts. she wont leave stuff alone, and she wont get out of the way. LOL they want to lie on the rug in the kitchen in front of the heat vent, and this crazy cat is tortiseshell, so you cant see her on this rug! she gets stepped on and kicked all the time. but she never learns! LOL she drives me nuts! im really intolerant of certain people. certain people make me so angry i could spit. actually, my tolerance level for socializing is really much lower than normal, though i still crave it from time to time. yeah pregnancy emphasizes certain things. and certain annoyances. my sense of smell is much stronger this time, i have to wash the sheets and blankets once a week or i can smell BO, which has never happened before! LOL
That’s so funny, I was just complaining that someone slept on my pillow and they must have been sweating!!! Yuck. Of course, no one else smells it but me, and no one is fessing up to using my pillow either.
@ErickaJ Yes pregnancy
I was really sick with my last two. I figured it was just because both of them were girls. With my first (a boy) I felt GREAT . Full of energy. Actually felt normal (at least more than any other time). I was sick just a little but it did not last long and it was just a handful of times. With my girls I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration I could not keep anything down and my body felt like it tried to vomit up my guts and be done with them! The doctors for both ended up giving me an Rx that worked wonders. I was sick the entire pregnancy with my last. I was actually puking while I was in labor.
Seabands may help you. (Walmart has them by the pharmacy) I felt some relief with my last pregnancy. They irritated me at first but then I couldn’t live without them. Like jewelry does until I get used to it then I don’t like to go without it. They look like sweat wrist bands and they hit a pressure point that naturally reduces nausea such as sea sickness but works for expecting moms too!
@ErickaJ Yes pregnancy heightened my BS intolerance. I’m sure it does that too a lot of expecting moms aspie or not. But I was pretty verbal and gave what I said little thought before blurting out my first though. LOL
BTW I **love** torties! I always felt they were a tad quirky, like me! Love tortitudes but they keep liking DH & DS and not me so I stopped trying 🙁 and just got a boy cat 🙂
I may go check out those Seabands! This is my fourth and the first one I am sick with! The first three have been boys so I am keeping my fingers crossed that the stark difference is because maybe this time we will get a girl???
I am so not fond of the sensation of having Mac N Cheese come out of my nose! Arghh!
Although I was not sick with the first three, I too, vomited throughout labor–especially towards the end.