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Adult Autism is Embarrassing

It is embarrassing to continue to lose your car in Wal-Mart’s parking lot.

It’s embarrassing when you do not recognize people you should know.

It’s embarrassing when you stumble to the wrong car, swing the door open, jump in, and didn’t  realize you scared the crap out of the driver until you fastened your seat belt. (Hubby laughing hysterical in the next car over)

It’s embarrassing to explain that all your utilities were shut off, and your garbage can repossessed because you paid the mortgage–twice causing those other checks to bounce.

It’s embarrassing when you tell someone you are on your way to meet them but then get caught up in your own world and completely forget about them–until two days later.

It’s embarrassing when you’re completely lost in the same small town you’ve lived in for the past five years because the road you usually take was blocked and you needed to turn down an unfamiliar street.

It’s embarrassing when you walk inside a building (hospital, courthouse, grocery store) that you have been in a hundred times and can’t find your way around–or worse, can’t find your way out.

It’s embarrassing when your neighbor had your kids again because you didn’t beat the school bus home. Or when you come screeching around the corner hoping you made it before the bus only to find your tearful 6-year old desperately trying to get into an empty house.

 

It happened again today…I drove up to my chiropractor’s office and someone had the nerve to be parked in my spot.  Don’t they know that I need to park in the same spot each visit or I will lose my car?  I parked two spots over.

I reminded myself walking inside that I am not parked in my usual spot; I needed to remember this.

Forty-five minutes later, I clicked the little clicker on my key chain to open my van while walking to my spot. I tugged on the driver’s door and almost landed on my rear because to my surprise the door didn’t budge. I clicked again, nothing happened.  Damned clicker must be on the blink!

Click, click, click, tug, tug–SHIT! Not my van!! I think the old woman who followed me out really thought I was trying to steal her van.  In my defense, it was a white mini-van (I have a white mini-van).

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Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.

13 Comments:

  1. And that’s just some of the every day stuff people are more prone to see. There’s also bathing yourself twice in a row during a shower (sensory issues permitting, since some find showers very painful) and losing your hairbrush because it is twelve inches over from its usual place.

    • OMG! I could have written your comment! I ALWAYS LOSE ANYTHING THAT IS JUST A HAIR FROM WHERE IT SHOULD BE! Drives me husband crazy who still thinks I just don’t look for things well, but I seriously can’t see it, I can’t find it, and I panic because it is not where I left it! And as for the painful showers, yes, that too depending on the day…I find that when I first hop in lots of times the water is very painful on my skin and I need to make the water tepid, but just a few minutes later I am freezing and need to water on full blast burning hot, and still I don’t’ FEEL it hitting me hard enough. Then of course my temperature regulations issues kick in, and I am overheated, have to cool down, dizzy, and it takes another hours of being wrapped in a towel to get my body to cool down long enough to turn on the hot hairdryer to dry the mangled mess of tangles the hour of drying left. Then overheat all over again…sweaty…and why did I start this shower thing today in the first place??? LOL

      • I’m lucky that I don’t have the needle-water sensory issues with showers some autistics mention, but that temperature is another thing! My husband hates getting in after me because apparently I take some really cold showers. After about fifteen minutes of 3mm adjustments to the temperature nozzles to try and get it tolerable. The worse part is that I can’t take tub baths because whatever is above the water will FREEZE. Can’t get the water up too hot to compensate, because then I’ll have second-degree burns and frostbite at the same time. 😛

  2. It def isn’t just you! I have most of those issues too. All of my life I just thought I was a screwball, but then when my son was diagnosed, I was like, Oh. Wait a minute…

  3. I’m currently reading through Dr Valerie Gaus’ book, Living Well on the Spectrum. As a non-Aspie, I gather, from her book, that it’s the differences in neurological wiring that cause Aspies to filter and interpret information differently than me. And that explains both the strengths and vulnerabilities described above.

  4. Had that happened to me a few times, too. That’s why I think I sometimes make a mess inside my car so that it is more recognizable. I say that because there is just no way I am guaranteed to park at the same spot every day when I drive up to school.

  5. If I had the money I’d design a stencil and get my car painted with unique designs.. 🙂

    • That would be a great idea for sure! No mistaking it then

      • Indeed *grins* Current tactic is keep my car in some disorder inside (did try keeping something hanging from the mirror, like dice but didn’t work for me), and forget to wash it regularly.. in the city a dusty car stands out.

        • Hanging things from the mirror didn’t work for me either, and I dint have to work at keeping the inside in disorder that is for sure…its always a wreck! Kids frequently write clean me on the sides in the dust…

  6. I so know what you mean! I lose my van in the parking lot, too. It doesn’t help that it seems to be a very popular model, so when Iook out there at the sea of vehicles I always see more than one possibility! Of course, I do many other embarrassing things, too. I get lost, lose my words, and forget to talk to people at all.

    • At least it is not just me! I went to the doctor’s office today, which is in the hospital building and when I came of course I didn’t know where my van was. Luckily, I had parked next to a bright yellow Xterra–it is just a good thing they didn’t leave before I did. Then I was thinking that is what I need, a bright bright vehicle that I cannot lose. White mini-van–way too generic.

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