• Understanding Autism from the Inside

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The Longer I Stay Away…the harder it is to find my way back

I have been MIA here for a few weeks partially because I have been feeling like complete crap. Not only is this pregnancy kicking my ass (unlike my almost symptom-less previous three), but I have had pneumonia for the past two weeks and have been lying in bed like a complete lump! All I want to do is sleep, but it seems like the more I sleep, the more depressed I am beginning to feel.

I hate being cooped up in the house all day long—everyday, but really have nowhere to go and don’t feel well enough to do much of anything. It’s a vicious cycle. I thought that since I’ve been feeling so “blah” for the past week or so, that I would have a lot to say, but as it turns out trying to fight off these depressive feelings have taken all my words.

I am forcing myself to say something here because I know myself…the longer I stay away the harder it is for me to come back. Just like friends in the “real” world, the longer I don’t communicate with them, don’t write, call, etc., the harder it is for me to do so. I wonder why that is? Does everyone feel that way?

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.