I have been MIA here for a few weeks partially because I have been feeling like complete crap. Not only is this pregnancy kicking my ass (unlike my almost symptom-less previous three), but I have had pneumonia for the past two weeks and have been lying in bed like a complete lump! All I want to do is sleep, but it seems like the more I sleep, the more depressed I am beginning to feel.
I hate being cooped up in the house all day long—everyday, but really have nowhere to go and don’t feel well enough to do much of anything. It’s a vicious cycle. I thought that since I’ve been feeling so “blah” for the past week or so, that I would have a lot to say, but as it turns out trying to fight off these depressive feelings have taken all my words.
I am forcing myself to say something here because I know myself…the longer I stay away the harder it is for me to come back. Just like friends in the “real” world, the longer I don’t communicate with them, don’t write, call, etc., the harder it is for me to do so. I wonder why that is? Does everyone feel that way?
Maybe try reading a good book, or playing a good game, try To the Moon by Freebird games, or try some of the free games on their website. They write damn good stories presented in computer game format.
Stories are my interest, games in particular due to the perpetual i can see in them with freedom to tell more then just a linear story.
A good story is where I escape to, when I’m feeling stuck or down.
http://freebirdgames.com/to_the_moon/ — link to the game I mentioned above, I’m really impressed with said game, you’ll see why if you play it to the end.
I definitely go through this. I do this with my blogs, my family, my friends, etc … When I start doing this with my blogs that’s when I force myself to write because I will shutdown completely. It causes me to go into depressive thoughts too.
Glad you stepped out and wrote!! Hope you feel better and are able to move past the “blahs” I wrote a post about feeling blah the other day. Ha ha ha
I am glad that I wrote real quick too because so many others have said they go through the same thing that it makes me feel soooo much better.
I was definitely beginning with the depressive thoughts.
I go through this myself – exactly the same. My own blog is currently on hiatus and I don’t know if I can revive it. I just don’t feel as if I have it in me right now.
I hope you start feeling better soon.
Thank you Melbo. I got on here today and made myself do it because I know if I wait too long I will lose all my “umph”. I think that I am also trying to stay positive and have good things to say, but when I am feeling down…everything feels like crap. So I don’t want to just whine and complain. Maybe a little whining and complaining would do me some good though…
The weather definitely has a huge impact on the way I feel also. Yesterday our high was 64 degrees and it felt so nice to go outside and breathe the air. I almost felt spiritually reborn. Then switch over to today which is like 43 degrees cloudy and so gloomy. My mood has changed so much in one days time no matter how hard I try to snap out of it. Maybe I need some extra vitamin D today…warm weather will be here soon. Must go find something to do. 🙂
I am going to start exploring whether other autistic people are affected by even small changes in the weather like I am…maybe this isn’t as odd as I had originally thought.
Due to our sensitve nature…it wouldn’t surprise me one bit. Some say even a full moon will cause different behaviors in their ASD kids. I don’t know if I have seen any correlation between the two with my kids.
A full moon, huh? I wonder…I am effected by so many different things it is hard to keep track, but I won’t be surprised if the moon messes with me too.
I go through the same feelings myself. I can be such a hermit and feel very content that way as long as I stay busy and positive. I have to stay busy or I feel useless (that is when I feel depressed) The “real” world is far too overwhelming for me. I need peace and happiness. I know I am different but that is okay. I hate feeling cooped up too but when I go out I just want to be home so I make my home my own personal vacation place whereas some people leave their home to vacation to find peace and tranquility. Being in touch with nature helps me plus my kids and husband are amazing to me. Positive affirmations are a blessing for me daily. I am not good with putting my feelings down because in my head as I am thinking them makes more sense. 🙂 I love reading your blog and I hope you feel better soon…stay positive. Everything will be okay. <3
Thanks Tracey, I know what you mean about keeping busy. I MUST feel like I have done something, accomplished something or I too, feel completely useless. I hate that feeling, but seem to have it more often than I care to admit.
Another really big factor for me is the weather! I instantly feel better if I walk outside in the sunshine, or even if it streams through the windows…but if the day is cold, wet, or grey and gloomy I cannot seem to feel good no matter how hard I try.
It is supposed to be a nice day today, I am still waiting for the sun darn it!