Anticipating the pending birth of baby boy #4 here in Aspie House, I thought I would share the Tantrum Tot’s birth story…so as promised here goes…
“When you get settled, we’ll get your Pitocin drip started,” the nurse said…
We arrived at McLeod Medical Center at eleven o’clock, after a morning of soft squeezing contractions. The sun shone, and the air felt warm for February. I was used to the cold NYC air. This was my first child being born in South Carolina, and I was determined to have a natural childbirth just as I’d done before.
“The doctor prescribed Pitocin,” the nurse said as she fed a reel of paper into the fetal monitor.
“No, I will not be consenting to Pitocin before or after the delivery.”
“You need it to clamp down your uterus after delivery,” she said.
My husband smiled. I was prepared for this fight. The week before a well-meaning nurse tried to explain to me what to expect during delivery. She had failed to read my chart; this was my third child not my first. She told me that all woman get Pitocin. Warning bells blared inside my head. That’s not normal. I knew that if I was going to have this baby my way, and I was, I was going to need to be firm with these nurses.
“Labor is progressing fine, and my uterus can clamp itself down—no Pitocin.”
After delivering my second child, a nurse came in and changed my saline drip to a Pitocin drip without my consent. Twenty-four hours of vomiting followed.
“Your epidural—“
I sighed. “I’m not having an epidural.” Doesn’t anyone listen to pregnant woman?
An entourage of nurses paraded through my room repeatedly trying to explain to me how things are done. When their bullying and scare tactics failed, they called in the big guns; they called my doctor.
Dr. Emerson appeared in the doorway, his blue eyes magnified through silver rimmed glasses. He looked taller than I’d remembered. “How are you doing?”
“She is refusing the Pitocin and epidural,” the nurse said.
“Let’s have a look,” he said.
After he examined me and declared I was six centimeters dilated, he informed the nurse that I was fine.
“I’ll be back to check on you later,” he said.
“If you’re not here when he’s ready, I’m having this baby without you,” I said. My first two boys came very quickly; I didn’t expect this one to be any different.
“You don’t need me; you know what you’re doing.” He smiled.
For the next four hours I paced the halls swaying from side to side through contractions, sat on the bed, rocked back and forth, and talked to the doula to pass the time. My husband sat in a chair next to the bed completely calm.
He didn’t look like the same man, who twelve years ago, panicked trying to start our piece of junk ’81 Buick when I was in labor with our first child. He wasn’t snoring in the chair beside the bed like he was with my second child, needing to be saved by my midwife because I lunged off the bed at his snoring throat. He was chatting and laughing with the doula. He’d become an old pro at this, but even he almost missed the signs.
I’d grown characteristically quieter through the last few contractions. They came harder and faster. I began shaking my head back and forth.
“What it is?” he asked.
“I—I can’t breathe through them.”
The contractions were so close together there was barely a break in between. The nurses insisted it wasn’t time because I was too quiet. They didn’t check me until the doula intervened and demanded it. The baby’s head was crowing, I was already pushing, and there was no doctor in sight. No one had called him.
Nurses burst into the room. One pushed the plastic bassinet they put newborns in, and two fiddled with the bed. Another approached me, “I know it’s hard,” she said, “but you need to stop, don’t push.”
“What?”
“The doctor’s not here yet, I have to call him, so you can’t push.”
“I’m pushing so you’d better catch!” I yelled. Her face went white.
She ran toward the door and picked the receiver up off the wall.
“Um…yes…ah…doctor….BABY!” she yelled, and hung up the phone. The woman couldn’t even speak. Really? Doesn’t she do this for a living?
The door flung opened, and Dr. Emerson ran in at full speed. “Out of my way!” He slid across the floor coming to a stop in front of me.
My husband’s mouth hung open; the whole scene looked like something out of a comedy act. The nurses didn’t move out of the way fast enough, and were still struggling to convert the bed to a birthing table. “If you change it now, the baby is going to land on the floor. His head is already out!” the doctor yelled.
“You made it,” I said between breaths, “I told you I wasn’t waiting for you.”
Two pushes later, Thomas Angelo (a.k.a Tantrum Tot) was born without Pitocin, without an epidural, and almost without a doctor.
This made me laugh so much. This is ny 3rd child and is going to be the first one I am demandingnto delievr without pitocin. First was given 24 hours after my water broke and second was when I had preeclampsia. I had no pain meds while in labor. I feel that both births were effected by the pitocin due to late milk coming in and jaundice. My second birth the nurse also told me to wait because a doctor was not there to “catch” her. I didn’t wait…it’s like telling someone who is seconds from vomiting while in a car to wait to get to a bathroom. It’s ridiculous how nurses are “trained” for assisting delivering babie but cant catch one while it’s almost here. I know there is legal matters about they can be liable if something goes wrong but still who can wait 10 mins for a doctor.
I think they would have legal issues too if they DO NOT CATCH! Lol I have birth to my fourth, yay with no pitocin as well, but with him I had a separated pelvis and had to give in and get an epidural. It went well but I think the epidural, although, necessary this time did slow my labor down quite a bit. But st least I moo longer felt like my pelvis was going to explode or break right through my back.
Good luck with number three..I’m nut sure if you’ve delivered yet.
Sounds like how my second child’s birth went! They kept yelling at me (and not nicely, mind you) to stop pushing and “hold her in”. Seriously? All that did was cause me pain. It was horrible. And I agree- why are you a nurse in L&D if you can’t handle a birth?! Seriously- why are you here then?! Not only was it absurd, it was frightening. So the chick they leave me with (I was alone at the time, I didn’t have a doula and my husband was trying to make sure our Autistic toddler was taken care of before he could meet back up with me), the “professional” nurse can’t handle a birth? It made me feel like I was all alone and had no one to help.
This next time (I’m currently pregnant with our 3rd) I choose a completely different hospital and doc and informed them ALL I wouldn’t put up with such nonsense. AND I would not be using pitocin for ANYTHING. It causes all kinds of issues. I also hired a doula.
Anyway, thanks for this 🙂 It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one who had to deal with crap like this.
Hi Miriam,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I just had my little one (Sept. 5th) and although I had a harder time (longer labor, separated pelvis) the nurses were much better. But then again, I did take the epidural (my pelvis due to the separation felt like it was going to explode!) so I was able to “not push” until the doctor got there and breath through the incredible discomfort of doing so–so I did not get yelled at. LOL I definitely will write more about the experience this time around soon. I got away with no Pitocin for anything this time as well, but had a bad reaction to the Percocet that they gave me! Fun fun.
Wow. With my first, they tried to tell me that once I was at ten, I could push, “don’t be discouraged it can take first timers a long time, give it a push…OMG stopwehavetogetthedoc!” In my experience, when it was time, it was TIME. I didn’t matter if I stopped pushing or not. Good for you for standing your ground.
You are not kidding Charissa! I have never known a baby to NOT be born because mom was going to stop pushing! LOL
i think you just became my new best friend. :P:P
i wonder, based on your and my experiences, how many other aspie women have these kinds of experiences during birth. well informed, focused and relaxed, drug free… headstrong and full of strength. 🙂 i wonder if its a characteristic we have that we dont mind the pain, dont care about the pain, know we dont need the doctor to deliver…
my daughter came almost this fast. lol! her head was out as the doc was coming in the door. i mean, we went from “i feel like i have to poop” to “waterbroke-crowning-i CANT STOP PUSHING IDIOTS-to her head being out. next contraction i had to push a little bit for the shoulders, but yes, totally fast, totally drug free. 😉
i did get the pit after. or, at least, i was aware of it with this 2nd child. if they did it with my first, not only was i not asked, but i was not aware that it was something they even did. but my doc gave me a choice of hooking up the IV (i didnt have one with this 2nd!) or giving me a shot, and i took the shot. worked out fine.
however, if i had thrown up like you…. ick. do you feel that you reacted to the pit or that your nerves and lack of control over whether or not you were given the drug was in play there?
knowing this about your 3rd, i would say that even if they induce you… i think you will be ok. i know you will know about the things to do to avoid the pit (because that stuff sucks and you know it), and i know you are headstrong enough to stand up and say “NO”…. i think you’ll rock this 4th one. its too bad things arent different and you couldnt just have a midwife…. though you have complications as well. i think midwives should work with doctors, as they do in other countries. midwife to do “the job” and doc to “oversee” or be on call, in case there are problems.
Thank you Ericka! I was laughing so hard at “I CANT STOP PUSHING IDIOTS” when I read your response last night! I don’t know what makes these nurses thing that we have a choice, and can just STOP!
I have been talking with many Aspie Moms and it seems a common occurrence. I think more so than the NT Mom’s I talk to though I am not sure why. I chalk mine up to the hypo-sensitivity to pain I usually experience–especially to major pain. It is the light touch of someone brushing their hands on my skin, a shirt tag, or the shower water that can be excruciating….but the BIG pain doesn’t seem to bother me much. That is probably why I am terrified of the needle in my back, but not so much of the actual labor pains…those I can do. LOL Sounds ridiculously backwards huh?
That Pitocin though, that terrifies me, and it really isn’t the pain so much as the 24 hours of freaking vomiting that follows. Actually, I vomit through all my labors, but not until the end when its about time to deliver…that is when I lose it a bit because you cannot deep breathe through pain and vomit at the same time!
i threw up with my first, all i had with him was some kind of relaxer? and that was only because i kept hearing the whole “we can give you something” “are you sure you dont want something?” “we could give you something but you have to ask…” DUH
hellooooooo no no no no and oh fine whatever. a half dose, another half dose…. anyway, it made me puke.
however with my daughter, i still puked but not as much as i did with my son…. lol. and i didnt even have an IV for her! 🙂