I haven’t had much to contribute to my blog lately. Maybe it is because I am so tired all the time, and I am hoping that it will pass once the baby is born. But-of course, then I will just be exhausted from having the boys going back to school, and toting the Tot to daycare, and then of course trying to keep up with my workload while taking care of an infant. No-I suppose I am not going to have any MORE energy when the baby comes.
Anyway, since I have been feeling like I am too tired to think these days, and I don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, I’ve decided to just ramble on aimlessly until I find a direction. Maybe I will even find something interesting to talk about.
Today I have been thinking about ANTICIPATION; the fact that I seem to get more nervous and stressed out before actual events occur than while they are actually occurring. This has happened throughout my life, and friends have often recommended that a try something like the herbal remedies found on this site https://royalcbd.com/ to help calm my anxious thoughts before now. Nowadays, something as simple as knowing I have a doctor’s appointment (or four) coming up in the week is enough to keep me stressed the entire weekend before my week even starts. I get myself all worked up, but not for any real reason that I can pinpoint.
This week was a good example of this anticipation anxiety: Monday, I had to run around doing errands and paying bills (always a source of exhaustion and stress when I have to spend the day driving from place to place). Tuesday (today), I had to be at the hospital for NST (Non-Stress Testing), which is what the doctors will be doing twice per week for the next five weeks until the baby is due. They do this for two reasons: 1: I am diabetic, and 2: I am of advanced maternal age: 39. (yes, I know-smack!) So I am already stressing about having to drive to the hospital, park the car, get checked in, spend an hour on a monitor, find my vehicle again, AND drive back home. This does not feel like it should be as exhausting as it is!
Back to crazy week: Wednesday, I have a doctor’s appointment with my regular OB. Thursday, hubby and I meet with a therapist who will be evaluating Aspie Teen (the first therapist to agree to see him!) Apparently, the doctors here that see adults with autism do not see teenagers, and the ones who see children have a cut-off of about 6 years old-so it has been a long time in finding a therapist who will see him. AND Aspie Teen is entering High School this year and wants to try going back to regular school (He’s been homeschooling-with little success).
So we are finally meeting with the therapist on Thursday, and straight from there have to go and register my 9 yr old for school. Then, Friday, back to the hospital at 10 am, for NST testing, and then to the High School for registration for Aspie Teen….AND It is mine and Hubby’s 16th Wedding Anniversary! I have no plan, no babysitter, no idea what I might do!!! ARggghhhh! As you can see, I am stressed about all the upcoming appointments and places that I need to be this week, and it is causing me to get nothing done. My brain is bogged down, overloaded, and I would like to scream now.
Why can’t I just take it one thing at a time? One appointment, one day, one week….I can’t, it’s impossible and my dysfunctioning brain is on overload.
Thanks for posting I understand that ARggghhh! feeling. For me return from reasonably relaxing holiday to a new building, office space, desk not to mention ‘the weirdos’ (the new colleagues I will be sharing space with). Needs I say more? Enjoying catching up with your blog entries, thank you informative and well balanced arguements. I am a adult with Aspergers self diagnosed, I have a teenage son with Autism-diagnosed. BTW reference to weirdos is not intended to be derogatory its how most people appear to me.
No worries, most people appear to be weirdos to me too! 🙂