• Understanding Autism from the Inside

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The Indecisive Aspie

I have trouble making decisions, or rather, I seem to second guess every decision I make fearful of regretting it, or feeling like I made the wrong one.  This has only become a problem for me as I age—is it experience, or fear of failure? I am not sure, but I do know that I never used to be this indecisive. Aspie Teen on the other hand is a whole other story!

Yesterday, Aspie Teen was a walking talking blog post for sure!  A simple trip to the mall to drop him off at the book store became a big production.

First, Aspie Teen never asks me to take him anywhere. In fact, if he never needed to leave the house for any reason, I think he would be a pretty happy camper. Yesterday his 9 year-old brother was going to the roller-rink with some of his friends and Aspie Teen decided we should do something while they are out.  I did not want to say “No” because he never asks to go anywhere, but I was exhausted.  We agreed that I would take him to the mall and bring him to Barnes and Nobles if he let me take a nap and rest first.

I took a nap, but when I woke up my blood sugar had dropped too low, and I was not feeling well at all. (I fell asleep after I took my medication, but before I ate lunch.) I needed to eat something to bring the level up real quick, but that was only a temporary fix. I told Aspie Teen that I was going to stop at the food court to grab a slice of pizza on our way to the bookstore.

I asked him to go into the mall for me and grab the slice of pizza because I was still feeling really tired, light-headed, and believe-it or not COLD and I wanted to sit outside where it was warm (now you know I wasn’t feeling well.) I told him that he could grab himself a slice to hold him over until dinner if he wanted to.

“No, Mom, I’m not hungry”

Ok, no problem. While we are walking from the parking spot he decides that maybe his is hungry but doesn’t want pizza.  I know where this is going, I am not getting a whole hot wings and french fries platter…wait until dinner.

He doesn’t want hot wings, he will just get a drink.  Yes, that is what he said. I sat down, he goes into the food court.

Two  minutes later he comes out, “I think I will have fries with blue cheese.”

“Ok, just please order my pizza.”

Two more minutes….he comes out again, “I don’t think I want fries, maybe I will just have pizza.”

“Fine, just please please grab Mommy’s pizza”

Two minutes later, he comes back out again, “Maybe I will get a drink with the fries after all” Fries? I thought we were having pizza? But—ok fine, whatever—Mom is going to pass out without some food!

Several minutes pass, and out he comes, still no pizza for Mom. “I am going to get pizza, BUT with blue cheese dressing to dip it in.”

OH DEAR GOD!  OK, just get something!!!!

Finally, 20 minutes after getting out of the car, I am eating a slice of pizza, with Aspie Teen, who by the way, did get the pizza and blue cheese dressing, which he didn’t wind up eating!!!!! 

Aspie Teen is getting more indecisive by the day, and it doesn’t matter how big or small the decision is this is what happens EVERY TIME!!! 

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.