I am jotting down notes here in a black and white marble note book sitting open on my desk as I read policies, and do IEP research. I simply cannot walk into a meeting that I am unprepared for—beyond prepared. I have Aspie obsession working in my favor at least.
This is the thing—there is so much information about the social and communication sides of autism and IEP goals in regards to those but many seem to ignore the executive functioning issues. I believe this is a huge area in which the little man is struggling. In addition, I suspect he has auditory processing issues going on (like Mom) as well.
Little man cannot read in a room where a TV is on, or can be heard. He cannot concentrate especially at the end of the day after school. I am getting many notes about him not listening to directions/instructions, or misinterpreting them. Many times he tells me he is being punished for this or that, and I get a different story from the teacher.
He never seems to really know why he is being punished—something is not connecting.
When he is focused on a task; he does not hear you if you speak to him. Therefore, if he is working on something in school most times he does not hear the teacher speaking to the class, or giving directions. It is not that he is not listening to or following instructions—he never heard her at all!
That got me to thinking about his reading and TV issue—and it hit me—auditory processing. I bet that when he is in that classroom he must block out everything in order to focus intently on what he is doing. If he does not, or can not (often) he cannot concentrate. This is exactly how my own auditory processing works! If there is more than one person talking, or the TV on and someone is talking to me the sounds blend together and I literally cannot filter out the other noses to “hear” what is being said. It might as well be a foreign language because I didn’t understand you at all. This happens to be every single day so I know the feeling well.
All this to say that I think there are multiple things at work here (aren’t there always with ASD?) and I need some IEP accommodation ideas to address them. I have some ideas of my own, but would love some more suggestions.
My main concerns/issues:
- Homework—it has trouble making it from school to home, and from home to school. The little man is so stressed by the time the school day ends that it takes almost until bedtime for him to calm down enough to begin working—usually all in vein because something gets missed, lost, etc. and he gets punished and loses recess.
- Writing down Assignments—he has trouble copying assignments from the board in an accurate, legible and timely manner. Sometimes things don’t get written down—and he gets punished.
- Instructions—he doesn’t hear them.
- Shifting Activities—he needs times to adjust
- Having all his books, supplies, pencils etc. when he changes classes (he had a behavior color flip one day because he forgot his pencil )
- Fear—he is scared to ask his teachers to explain what he doesn’t understand because he says he will get his behavior color flipped for not paying attention (don’t know if it is true or just he fears that will happen)
- Anger/Frustration and Tears—that he has when he finally arrives home from school. Tears for reasons that he can’t articulate and I suspect from emotions he doesn’t understand.
Help!
You all are awesome; A sea full of knowledge, some of which, I would love to hear.
Do you have any IEP suggestions to address these issues that have worked for you?
Any suggestions for these issues, or things going on that I may have “missed” or not thought of—open to all suggestions. I am anxiously awaiting for this meeting and want to be as prepared as I possible can. I will be in super obsession mode until then!
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Can someone please help? School keeps telling me my son doesn’t qualify for IEP bc he doesn’t have any academic problems. We were told by his Dr that he does qualify and at minimum needs a 504 which he has. This limits my son from qualifying for scholarships to help pay for advanced classes and camps. Advice?
Hi again,
After reading the last comment, I to think the IEP team should discuss placing your son with another teacher. I imagine there is approximately 75 to 80 days of school left this year and with the accommodations in place they could perhaps be happy and productive or continuing with the same teacher who already knew his needs and refused or forgot not to mention his misery. When I taught general education, I worked at a GA school of excellence where the PTO cost 125.00 just to join. I had kids removed from my class and i had kids placed in my class. One reason for removal was the parent said it wasn’t me, it was the caliber of students in my room. The principal always accommodated the parents because money talks. I had one student put in my class because the teacher called his parents the first day of kindergarten and said he had tried to hit her. I knew the teacher had probably provoked it and sure enough, she had grabbed his ARM and he swung around with the other. I would also want to know if this teacher had ever worked with students that had an IEP or if there was a more experienced teacher. When I taught special education, even though I disageed with many things, we did try to place our students with teachers that had a good track record with teaching swd. Anyway, i certainly have also had my autistic daughter removed from certain teachers and we even had her change schools too. The past few years because my husband was so relentless they have let us choose the school. This year since I am retired I told the special education director that I would have plenty of time to let her know all the problems my daughter had been experiencing, so she handpicked the new teacher for my daughter’s class because she told the teacher they had not had much consistency in the past two years. She was trying to prevent a problem because she knew my husband wasn’t happy and she didn’t want him camping out at the b.o.e. again not to mention i had been bullied by administration and decided to retire instead of going the lawsuit route and she knew how bad it had been for me. I found out the hard way that the special education director is just a title and the principal is in charge of all employees in thete building.
Diane (Brooke’s Mom)
One other thing to consider esp. For standardized tests is a small group setting and extended time. He may be ok but i had students who had to have extra time due to anxiety and processing etc… There is even an accommodation that says frequent breaks like the middle school I was at they didn’t even want students to go to the restroom during testing, so you have to almost think of every single thing to put in the IEP esp. As he gets older because somethings we take for granted are not allowed. I also had students that used headphones not just for noise sensitivity but also to help with distractions. As far as I know all the textbooks for ela in middle school anyway would read to the students on a computer. Science did also but the teachers had to set up all their classes to do so. Just a thought. As far as typing we had alphasmarts but it had to be in the IEP. Best wishes
I don’t have much to add that the others haven’t mentioned already but I am curious if you have considered asking (demanding) that he be placed with another teacher at the school. Before our son was placed on an IEP he had a teacher who was very much like the current one your son has. We went to the principal with our case and asked if it would be possible to place our son in the other 1st grade class at the time. He was switched over in a matter of days. It wasn’t perfect but it was a heck of a lot better than having him in a classroom where he was belittled and intimidated by the teacher. As a side note she retired two years later, too bad it wasn’t sooner. I’ll be thinking about you on Thursday, IEP day, and hoping you and your son are not given a hard time about accomidating his needs. .
I want to say, his teacher may have hope. She at least understands he doesn’t seem to be being willful.
Has little man had testing done? These days, teachers are looking for autism, but not learning disabilities. Autism becomes behavioral, thus the punishment–so much on little shoulders. My son was 17 before I figured out he was, as he said, “bullied by the curriculum.” He is dysgraphic and dyscalculaic, ~severely so~. Nobody knew.
If I could change anything, I would have thought less of fitting him into school (shoving that square peg) and more about making school bearable. I remember a wiser mother than me, asking for and receiving homework accommodations.
Totally unrelated, I read “Learning Outside the Lines” by Jonathan Mooney. I never told Ben’s teachers, but we used to have “mental health days” like Jonathan’s mom used to give him, just to be a kid and have fun. He is 20 years old and still remembers.
School may never fit your son, but you can’t see it as his fault, but theirs. They only know how to teach one kind of child. He’s just being who he is.
Sounds like his teacher is a really bad fit.
In terms of accommodations and modifications, here’s a good link about ideas for kids with EF issues:
https://edgefoundation.org/blog/2013/08/12/accommodations-for-executive-functions-and-other-learning-challenges/
In general, searching for accommodations for ADHD kids will find you other good ones. For the auditory processing accommodations/modifcations, you might want to look at suggesting for dyslexics, too, or see if anything at this link helps:
http://www.aitinstitute.org/auditory_processing_classroom_modifications.htm
Oh, here’s a good list of ideas that worked for various parents/kids, too:
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/6511.html
In terms of homework assignments, one year, our son had a scribe (a fellow student) who wrote down all assignments. We’ve also tried taking pictures of the blackboard on an iPad. We’ve also gotten a list of assignments at the beginning of the week so we could view it at home and KNOW if something was due.
In terms of punishment… yeah, it should all be gone when it comes to any issue related to EF stuff. Remind them at the meeting that your son WANTS to succeed and wants/needs recess, so his behavior is far from intentional. There would be NO reason for intentionality here. Given that, engaging him in a process of solving the problem would be helpful.
In fact, everything in the meeting should be about finding solutions, not punishing bad results. Just use that as your guideline. You might not know the solutions and they might not either (and early attempts might not work) but starting the process with the attitude of “solution not punishment” is key.
And good luck! Your son is lucky to have you advocating for him!
You have been awesome! I am checking out the links now…I have some ideas for EF issues, but those auditory problems (which is a huge area of difficulty for myself) are proving challenging in terms of finding a solution.
Tying into a previous exchange of ours, information from people who aren’t the parent always seems to be taken better 🙂 The links above are good sources. Also, since most dyslexics are dealing with auditory processing issues, looking there for accommodations that might help could, at least, spark some ideas for you (this very short list, for example: http://dyslexia.yale.edu/Accommodations.html)
Along those lines, you can become a member of BookShare.org (with a letter from your resource teacher) which will allow access to gobs and gobs of books that can be read aloud by a computer or any iDevice. From that, you can get a membership in LearningAlly which will frequently have audio versions of textbooks, read by a human voice (rather than a computer voice). That is 100 a year, but the school may be a member already. These would be good things to ask for based on what you’ve said about your son needing you to read the textbooks aloud. Working with the school on him using books on tape and other assistive technology (writing on a computer? typing, etc) will help him at some point, I’m sure.
I’m gonna start a step farther back here and talk about the IEP meeting and process itself. Meetings are long. They can be very emotional for us parents. And they go much better when there is a spirit of collaboration – you’re all on the same team (and parents are an EQUAL part of the team no matter what is implied), so even when there’s disagreements about problems/solutions, you need to work together. This can be a challenge 🙂 Still, go in with the attitude that nothing that is said is personal, even if it feels it.
Now, maybe you’ve heard from the school already, but just because there is an IEP meeting does NOT mean your son will qualify for an IEP (in the school’s eyes, at least). I don’t say this to upset or predict, but only to make sure nothing surprises you! There are legal criteria schools follow, and sometimes they see very different things than we parents do (and their tests do not show the same things we see). If, for some reason, they say “does not qualify for services” do NOT panic!!!! It’s just a starting point, not an ending point.
There will be two forms to sign at the meeting – one that lists attendance (if you’re there… sign!), the other is the IEP form itself. You do NOT have to sign that in the room. Ask for a copy of the IEP to bring home. I do this even if I agree with everything, but in the case of disagreement definitely don’t sign there. You have the ability to dispute findings, ask for other assessments, get your own assessments, and much else. But meetings are long and emotional. Better to get out and breathe and calmly think through options. Also, if there is no IEP recommended, the school or you can suggest a 504 plan. This is also a legal plan that can provide accommodations and modifications to help your son. (IEPs can provide additional services like speech or resource teacher time, too, while a 504 does not.). From what you’ve said here about the issues in play, a 504 plan could be very, very helpful. If they offer that, get it. If they don’t offer that and didn’t offer an IEP, suggest it. (You can have both a 504 and an IEP in time or a later IEP can replace the 504 or or or. But protection for your son is the goal here.)
Here’s an infographic on the IEP process that shows different ways it might go and what you can do:
http://ncld.convio.net/site/Survey?ACTION_REQUIRED=URI_ACTION_USER_REQUESTS&SURVEY_ID=2661
Here’s an article on differences between IDEA laws (which lead to IEPs) and the 504 plans (a different set of laws):
http://www.ldonline.org/article/6086/
There are special education advocates and lawyers who you can consult, if needed, on any of this. If the meeting goes awry, remember: don’t sign and consult someone as needed. We parents are great for info, but there are myriad laws and nuances that occasionally interfere. With luck, none of that comes up, but reading those two documents above will prepare you well for the meeting.
One thing also to remember is that if they are declining services or accommodations because you son is “not behind grade level” that’s not actually the real test. When they say that, return conversation to the areas where your son’s challenges/deficits impact his “ability to access the curriculum” or otherwise interfere with is ability to succeed.
I often bring cookies or something to the meetings, by the way. Besides the fact that in our case the meetings truly are collaborations (even some crappy meetings!) and I appreciate the hard work the IEP team does, the meetings can be long and sometimes I need a blood sugar infusion. Also, sometimes I bite a cookie rather than reacting emotionally and biting a fellow participant (verbally!) 🙂
Hi Greg,
I am taking notes! Thank you so much. Fortunately, little man has been testing, and we were informed that he DOES qualify for services and an IEP. (Thank goodness!) According to the District school psychologist, he qualifies for an IEP under autism, as well as speech services, and OT. So–at least that is hopeful.
I had been thinking about bringing donuts to the meeting to start on a sweet note (literally–heehee) especially because I feel so bitter. I giggled about your biting the cookies instead of someone verbally because I think I might want to bite someone physically. LOL
I caught myself (ok, only after i was doing it) biting my own fingers and fights when I was getting upset explaining what was going on to the district. I lost my words there for a minutes and realized I tend to grunt, growl, and bite my hands. (NOT GOOD)–soooo biting donuts might actually be a good strategy.
Glad you know he’ll qualify. Ignore my comment above then 🙂 Except for the good parts!
Hi,
I taught general education and special education and have a 20 yr. Old nonverbal autistic daughter. She is in a self contained MOID class. I just wanted to share a few things that might be helpful or at least to contemplate. Instead of so much punishment why not reward his successes? For example: If a system was put in place for organization, he could be rewarded for getting his h.w. folder with finished h.w. back to school 4 out of 5 days or 3out of 5 days. The teacher could give him 5 minutes on the computer or free time or whatever. I had a list of rewards to earn and the student could weekly what they were working towards. What about the teacher posting her h.w. on her website for easy access to you as well or sending the whole week of h.w. on Monday or the Friday before, so you would be able to accelerate the upcoming concepts. I am not a big fan of h.w. esp. For math because I didn’t like the students working the problems incorrectly. A lot of teachers i know now give the answers and the student shows how to get it. Also popular is to give the steps of the problem with blanks to be filled in so the student sets up and practices correctly. If you are passing the in class assessments you probably don’t need h.w. in the first place. If you are not succeessful in class then you probably can’t do it independently at home then it makes more time spent getting it done or parental assisstance. Also the teacher should have to initial that she checked the folder for correct assignments and papers before assissting or watching him put it in his bookbag. She will have to help him daily until he is proficient with the pack up routine and initialing, but later it could be his job to take her the folder to sign. If they ate willing to do this or put in his IEP they will probably expect you to do the same at home, so if you can get them to get it home you could be thinking of how to incorporate it into his nightly routine so that you can check and initial also. The teacher will not want to accept any blame and i guarantee she is going to throw it back up at you, so …if you ate proactive in your request and anticipate thru response you can have planned for their negative response and possibly have an alternative solution ready that is beneficial to you and your child. It is supposed to be a team meeting…. But you know how that sometimes goes. Just keep preparing so you get what you want. Timers are wonderful tools for transiton. He could learn to set his own timer or she could have one for the whole class. Ex. 5 min. Until lunch or whatever. I also have an issue with pencils, if you don’t have one then you can’t do your work- what the teacher wants in the first place. Maybe you could keep a bag of pencils in his bookbag for emergencies or donate some to the classroom. Maybe she could provide a cup of pencils for borrowing. If they were not returned maybe they could be marked with a dot or her initial or she could give a job of pencil counter or whatever, but if you ask me the teacher just wants everyone to fit one mold and do exactly as she says. With my own child I am flexible and as a teacher I was also because if you are not flexible then you will get bent out of shape.:-) For the copying of notes we had to write IEP’s that said the students would receive a copy of the teacher’s toyed notes or PowerPoint to use for studying purposes. With inclusion teachers they didn’t particularly like this so we compromised. The student would attempt to take notes and do their best. They would exchange their handwritten notes for the typed copy. This was middle school and it had to be written in the IEP. Another thing is he could have the notes up front and try to use a highlighter to mark as it or filling as the teacher lectures(this is probably more for middle and high schoolers. I hope some of this was helpful food for thought. Good Luck! I hope your son gets to change teachers it schools esp. If this continues.
HI Diane,
Thank you so much for all your suggestions! The big ones for me that stood out were NO PUNISHMENTS especially for things like forgetting stuff, which is an executive function issue. I am going to be asking that no homework be sent home (he doesn’t have much anyway many times it is that one worksheet at night that gets lost, and his reading which you could not tear him away from) so I don’t see how this will be a big issue but since this is why they love to punish him, it may be.
The teacher said (unofficially, to us during conference) that she would write in his agenda when he lose recess, or his behavior color changes, and she would get him a buddy, or help ensure he wrote his homework down and had his things. None of which is done, so I think personally that when she “forgets” she should lose her break and snack!
Ok–that aside, it appears that if she is not required to by IEP she obvious is not going to. She told me several times that she forgot to write it down, which to me is unacceptable since my son is being punished for forgetting.
At his last two schools all the homework was posted on the website so we always knew what was supposed to be done, and even last year (in this school) his teacher sent home sheet with the whole week’s assignments on them and it worked so much better. I think there reasoning for not doing it this year is because he needs to learn to “adjust” to the fourth grade. Apparently, he isn’t adjusting.
I love the power point idea, my Teen’s History teacher did that for him this semester and he aced the final! You’ve given me lost of great ideas to add to my very long list 🙂
Hi Jeanie,
I have never sat in an ARD meeting but I did work on IEPs when I worked in private school last year. I wish I could be your little guy’s teacher. I’m working right now with a student who I believe is possibly ASD but he is much younger and undiagnosed. Its very frustrating to know what to do but not be allowed to help him! I’m worried that even with an IEP in place your son’s teacher may not be helpful. Its so tragic and maddening but some people just do not care about kids who don’t fit the norm. She has been so outright mean to him I don’t see how this could change without someone else taking over…
As far as his accommodations, I think the signal for changing activities is great. Maybe they could also give him a warning? Like a warning signal and then a change of activities signal. Could they also help him keep track of supplies? I kept a jar of pencils on my desk for that reason. Maybe there could be a central station for his supplies and then he only has to keep track of one subject at a time in his desk. I would also ask that you could get an email of all assignments. If they want to help him get to the point where he can do this on his own, take him a small step at a time but you can’t demand that he run before he can crawl.
I think its also imperative that you be given written information on when and why he is being punished. I personally ask children to recount to me why they were in trouble. My reasoning is if they can tell me they can formulate a plan to self-advocate/make a better choice and not end up in trouble again. If he is unaware why he is being punished you have no reason to believe she is not bullying or mistreating him. She needs to document everything and be accountable so you can work with him on these areas at home and work towards improvement.
I think you need to insist he is not given any multi-step instructions or given verbal instructions while he is working on something else. She needs to give him little pieces at a time and then let him recount back what he understands he is supposed to be doing.
As far as his emotions, it seems he is getting so frazzled and beat up by all the things he is being told that are wrong it probably ruins him in the morning and then he feels like a train is running over him the rest of the day. Which just totally escalates executive functioning problems. This could be a huge key to changing his day. I think they need to find a way he can make small successes and celebrate them so his confidence can grow. You might already do this but maybe you and your son can make little goals for him to achieve even if the school doesn’t participate. For instance, keep track of your pencil all day or get one assignment written down, or keep your good attitude. You could give him rewards for that at home– even if the rest of the day was a wash, he still made that small goal. Does that make any sense?You could also talk to him about ways to express his feelings like finding words for how he feels.
Is there any way for him to get any proprioreceptive input throughout the day? Like does it help him to jump on a trampoline or swing or slide? Does he get any OT? Sometimes these activities can help clear your mind or emotions. I’ve seen kids have day and night difference in thinking skills because they so crave deep pressure they just can’t think until they get it. If there’s no trampoline or playground equipment sometimes walking hard down stairs or jumping jacks can help. Also thinking of BrainGym? These are simple exercises that he could learn to do on his own and are not disruptive.
Could he be given a break in the counselor or resource room just to collect himself if something goes wrong? Then he could start fresh and not be so over-upset. Would it help if you could visit him at lunch sometimes just to help him power-down? (Like a safe person for a few minutes) That might also be good to check in on the teacher or the school if they are following the IEP and giving him the accommodations. She might object to you popping in the classroom but there is no rule against lunch visits.
That reminds me of your crazy silent lunches…could he wear headphones? Also imperative he it be stipulated that some kind of recess is given because he requires the physical activity. These people are shooting themselves in the foot because every child requires that especially boys. If they must be punished, walking laps around the playground is better than being forced to sit still.
Above all, knowing his parents are in his corner is huge. At least its your family against the world and not just little man alone. I really hate his school for you. It sounds like you’re just going to have to fight and fight and not take no for an answer which you are already doing. If ultimately they will not listen, his emotional health may be more important than academics. He can always catch up his brain, but its hard to get past bullying scars.
Good luck! I will be looking for updates!
Thanks so much Amy! There seems to be so much to address that it can be daunting. My own autism often does not help me in this area.
The one thing (of the many fantastic suggestions here) that really stuck out to me was not being given oral instructions while he is working on something. I have to be honest, if you give ME oral instructions while I am working I will not hear you, grasp, or know what the heck I was supposed to do by the time I am done with my current activity. In fact, many times the kids will interrupt and start telling me something and I realize that I have no idea at all what they just told me. Drives me nuts.
I feel like this is a HUGE issue for the little man, and can make it seem that he is not listening to, or following instructions.
Actually, that’s huge. I can’t process audio if I’m absorbed in something – it’s not that I’m ignoring you, it’s that I literally don’t register that you’re saying something, as if I don’t hear you at all. And then when I stop what I’m doing, I realize you’re talking and go “What?” and sound like I was ignoring you.
Homework – in university, Desire2Learn and online assignments were amazing for me. I had no luck in school (no diagnosis), but with online stuff, you can get email reminders sent to you and there are no papers to keep track of – it’s marvelous.
Writing stuff down – typing. I don’t write. For me it’s: Speedy or legible, pick one. If I write legibly, I write at a glacial pace. If I write speedily, not even I can read it. I suspect I have motor-type dysgraphia. Learning to type properly was amazing because writing a page for an assignment no longer took me three hours. Realizing I could take my laptop to class at uni was even more amazing because I didn’t have to subject myself to pain to try and fail to get my notes done.
Instructions – I get stuff confirmed to me in writing by email at work because if lab is noisy, I don’t hear. So I’ll send an email with my impression of the instructions to my boss after a meeting, and he’ll correct me as needed.
Shifting activities – If startling isn’t an issue for him: I found timers help me a lot with transitions. In a quiet area, I’ll set my phone to vibrate. In a louder area, I’ll set it to vibrate with a noise that I’ve trained myself to recognize as a change-activity signal. I also stop something 10 minutes before I start a new thing, that way my brain doesn’t feel like it just got whiplash, if that makes sense.
Supplies – I keep duplicates wherever I’ll need them, except for things too big to forget – backpack, laptop, etc. “Too big to forget” has gotten smaller as I’ve aged. In school, I could easily forget my backpack. Once I forgot my outside shoes and returned home in sock feet. Another time I forgot my coat in winter. We lived in the Prairies, so it was like -30C out.
Fear – supportive environment. Fear is an instinctive thing, and it’s really hard to train out instincts when you always feel you have to be on guard. I was an extremely anxious kid because my school environment was like your son’s. I didn’t stop having anxiety issues until I went to university – despite regular sessions with the school counselor. I just couldn’t handle the environment. At uni, I had a much more supportive environment, and the anxiety problems mostly went away on their own because I didn’t feel constantly under attack. Teaching him mindfulness and what have you might have him cope with fear, but it won’t go away until he doesn’t feel like everyone in his school is actively trying to hurt him. Yeah, I know that’s probably not the case, but I’ve been where he is, and that’s what it feels like.
Anger/Frustration/Tears – again, supportive environment. Unless he’s crying over something he did that he should feel guilty/upset about, tears after school are most likely a failure on the school’s part to make him feel safe. He’s angry because he perceives correctly that he’s being treated in an unfair manner, and he’s frustrated because the school is setting him up to fail by putting demands on him that he is incapable of rising to. He’s crying probably just out of a combination of desperation, anxiety, despair, and anger. Despair is probably the feeling he can’t articulate to you, since it’s not a feeling kids normally feel. But wouldn’t you despair if you kept being punished for not doing things you can’t do, it felt nobody believed you, and it felt like everyone at your school was looking for excuses to punish you, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel because your graduation from the school seemed impossibly far away?
Two things can result from this if it’s not resolved: Either he starts to believe what the school is telling him and thinks of himself as a bad kid – which you don’t want – or he realizes that the school is being unfair and starts to view authority figures in general with wary suspicion – which you also probably don’t want. Or both. I had both happen.
Missed things: Bullying. If he’s stuck in a school that prizes conformist automatons, bullying will be a problem sooner or later – if the school sends the message that same is good, it also sends the message different is bad, which paints a target on the weird kid’s back. I’d suggest you get a bullying plan in place before it becomes a problem. Also because if his teacher is like my third grade teacher was (and she sounds like it so far), she might enlist the other kids to enact punishment she’s no longer allowed to. Finally: They’re currently bullying him with the passive-aggressive notes and punishing him for having a disability, and that needs to stop.
Organization skills. The “he just needs to be more organized” is probably going to start soon if he’s forgetting stuff. Don’t let them punish him for his disability-associated executive function issues. Also: real help for organization would be a good thing. Real help =/= “Be more organized or I’ll punish you until you somehow stop having this disability!” which is what they’re currently doing.
Communication. If he is punished for something, the teacher needs to make sure he knows why he’s punished. If you don’t understand why you’re being punished, it feels as if the adult is capricious, abusive, and actively malicious, and that makes school feel like a war zone.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and very insightful comments. I sat here taking notes while I was reading and am definitely going to incorporate some of your ideas into “my plan.” I am sorry this was your school experiences–I had much of the same, and it really was horrible. I’m glad that things worked out better in university. I am working on a degree (online) right now, and the email alerts, and all paperwork being digital has been a tremendous help!
Thanks.
Ooo, one more thing for homework organization that I just remembered: A friend of mine has a bulletin board in her room on which she posts all of her homework assignments in order of due date chronologically to help herself keep track of them. She, like me, is very “out of sight, out of mind” for stuff (i.e., she says “If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist to me”) and finds that’s the only way she can get all her homework done on time. I thought you might find it useful.
Unfortunately, I believe that he already is beginning to view authority figures with wary suspicion. This is what this school year has taught him, and I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. They took a kid that loved to go to school, and made him hate it.
If you haven’t happened upon it yet, I’d suggest you look up Karla’s ASD Page on Facebook – she has a whole bunch of IEP resources.
Also: Yeah, I hated school the whole way through, too. I think you can salvage his love of learning if you encourage him to pursue his interests… but love of school is in the school’s hands.
Yes! Karla’s page is great. The info you’re mentioning is in her photos:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Karlas-ASD-Page/155369821204141?id=155369821204141&sk=photos_stream
All the ones that look like slides/parts of a presentation are good, and many of them are IEP specific. (If you don’t know her/of her, Karla is a VP at Intel, autistic, and an advocate for autistic kids and often at IEP meetings for those kids).