• Understanding Autism from the Inside

    “Academics came easily to me. The rest of life—not so much.”
  • This post may contain affiliate links and we may earn compensation when you click on the links at no additional cost to you.

Have Questions?

ASK AN AUTISTIC PERSON!

If you want to know more about Autism, or Asperger’s Syndrome, ask an autistic person.

Please feel free to ask any questions you would like, I will do my best to either answer you in response to your comment, or in the form of article or blog post–anonymous questions are welcome.  For more private questions, and or concerns feel free to email your questions to: [email protected]

25 Comments:

  1. Completely understand. My son feels the same about his husky. She is 9 but has some health problems so we made the decision to get another dog now who will be there for him when Gaia dies. A big commitment as the dog is only a year old but I know it is the right decision. Perhaps you could ask your son about getting a new best friend? Maybe a rescue, explaining what a wonderful thing he would be doing for the animal?

  2. Mom of 2 older teen Aspies+married to an Aspie?

    HOW do you explain to the high school what the grieving process and accompanying depression is like (on top of all that Aspie stuff) for our Junior in HS who is dealing with the death of his emotional support animal named “L***”?
    “L***” was not just a pet but a true family member and only friend our son had, as he doesn’t interact with other teens outside of the HS classroom setting. His cat-best-friend he had for the last 7 years (he got her when he was 10). She was such a gift to have in his life during the critical developmental years!
    Sometimes he doesn’t go to school b/c he’s depressed, angry, etc. His psyc said this grieving may be similar to grieving for a sibling.
    Help, thoughts?

  3. Hi Jeanne,

    I’m looking for some answers regarding some of my more peculiar behaviors and autism seems to be a potential cause. The main behaviors that I’m looking at are impulsive pacing/running and an absolute inability to stand loud movies. I’m trying to keep my net wide, and wondering if you know of any other potential causes for this impulsive moment and overreaction to loud noises.

    Thanks a bunch!
    Sophie.

  4. I am a self diagnosed aspie. I can fit into many situations, learned how to talk to others in routine conversations, academic environment, some college banter. But I can not talk about feelings, or “be there” for my spouse. I am on my third marriage and see now that it was my spectrum challenges that did not allow me to connect with my spouse as they wanted. They felt alone, left out. My current spouse I have shared that I am on the spectrum and have tried to have him read about women with Aspergers but he will not attempt to look at it, says I am just making excuses and I am self centered and don’t care about him. He is constantly expressing anger and I can not deal with anger. I just shut down. Is there any hope? What should I try?
    Jane

  5. Cristie appleton

    Hello..thank you for sharing this and your insight and experience. Im a now.single mom and my 13 yr old has aspergers. Omg im at a loss im heartbroken. What you wrote is kaleb. He never ever leaves the house anymore i do not encourage it trust me..but they say he has agoraphobia. .he used to love and was phenomenal at it too..once his dad left us 3 yrs ago i thought that was the reason im.sure its a huge part..but his dad never believed me somethjng was wrong and tended to be very mean to kaleb when he didn’t portray how a boy a man should..so my son been thru a lot but i knew that hes had it since he was 5. So now that we have a finally diagnosis..i need to know what to do..i have to home school him just i want his love and luster for basketball back hes so negative allll the.time
    .hes brilliant and yet has noooo friends i know ot aspies not as big of a deal but hes depressed and nooone knows how yo handle hkm i want him.to be.ok leaving.the house. And laugh again.and not jave to wear a blanket or sheet at all.times around him..could u help point me in the next steps to take

  6. Have you heard about the Autism Speaks–House to Home Prize? Google it, they are doing something wonderful here!

  7. My son just turned 18. He was born autistic. He has developed a neurological problem of severe shaking in his right hand and leg. We have seen two neurologists and both are completely puzzled. MRI and EEG tests have been scheduled. This came on very suddenly–he was at thecomputer,said he felt like he blacked out, everything turned white and then he started twitching. Now he shakes all the time; stress makes it worse to where he looses control of his walk. He said he remembers doing this once in awhile when he was younger–5 or 6–but I never noticed it before. Any ideas? This isn’t the first time that doctors have told me “we don’t know” about him but it is the most serious to date. Appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

  8. Hi, I found this site, in order to try and understand my son more. He has never been diagnosed with anything although his early school teachers did suggest it might be an idea to me. But back then I was firmly against labeling too soon. He is 17 now and has a few friends and likes to be sociable. He has just started posting comments on fb that fb is a waste of time and space. I fear that his so called friends are avoiding him because of his strong views and comments and the fact that he won’t take advice from others. He is a high achiever at college and plans to go to Uni soon, I guess I am afraid that he will isolate himself with his high opinions!
    I would be interested in peoples comments, maybe I am just a worrying mother – he always says ‘Don’t worry mother’.

    • HI Sarnie,

      We are supposed to be worrying Mother’s! That I think is our whole job description right there. I can say this, you could be right and he may isolate himself, but truthfully (coming from another Aspie, one that has 4 boys on the spectrum) if opinions isolate me from others, it really means that those were not the right kind of people for me in the first place. It hurts to lose friends, and I have a horrible tendency to isolate myself even today as an adult, but as long as I have one good friend, spouse, person to share life with I am alright. Too many is too much to handle anyway. You will worry, and I think that is right and normal for us Moms. I worry, believe me. But I will offer you an alternate view to think on for a moment, the ones with strong opinions, often think for themselves, strike out on their own, with their own minds, and opinions, and do not follow others blindly. To me, this is an awesome–AU-some–AUTISTIC trait. One thing I wrote about in my book was being fairly immune to peer pressure, in that when I had my mind made up, it was made up. Didn’t really matter what others thought. When I got myself into trouble, it was ALL ME. I didn’t following anyone off that proverbial cliff. 🙂 And hey, maybe your boy can teach us a thing or too (FB, can be a HUGE time waster!) Easiest place in the world to procrastinate and daudle your days away.

  9. Loved n identified w ya book. Huge relief to self diagnose myself at 59…. I,m not mad scatty distracted yes probably Adhd not lazy n clumsy I am dyspraxic… Yes I m an aspire woman! Explains my struggles somewhat t recover from my alcoholism n addiction until the last few years… I m told alcolism is a disease that told me I had not got it… Massive denial blame excuses total insanity repeating the same mistakes n expecting different results….also explains my bro n my mother career obsessions n total lack of empathy n compassion. My diff ability discovered w my daughters diagnosis at 19…. She has Down’s syndrome n my clumsy parenting n addiction
    I could have been a better mum….. She’s thriving now with good support n inclusion…..
    What next ? I ask myself? I feel certain there’s a link between alcoholism n Autism somewhere…. My identity n lifestyle proved inexplicably hard to shed….
    Recovering w the Gift of Hindsight… 12 steps…. No, I m not God, mother Theresa superwoman or an intellectual athlete…. Keeping it simple with “a simple program f complicated people n recovering from ‘a disease of the feelings’ one. Day at a time……ideas?

  10. Shirley Brozzo

    Ms., Davide-Rivera-
    I just read your book cover to cover in one sitting. I LOVED it. Do you ever do any speaking enggements before large audiences?

    • To date, I have spoke to small groups (which is how I do best) but not to larger audiences. It is something I would have to work up to, but possibly may be able to handle since if I was speaking on a subject of special interest (autism) I am much more comfortable.

  11. Thank you for publishing your book. It was with great interest that I read the entire book in one sitting today. This completely describes my sister who is now 57 and has never been diagnosed but has been to psychologists and psychiatrists without any clear diagnosis other than OCD and a few other misdiagnosis’. My sister leads a very isolated life and rarely has any interaction with people. She eats little and lives in poverty and prefers it that way. She just wants everyone to leave her alone. She is extremely brilliant and artistic. I would like to send her your book and possibly Aspergirls also. I think it might open her mind to a whole new community of people like her that are gifted like her and make her embrace some positive change??? Not sure if it may make her more depressed or if she will take it the wrong way. she has been known to misinterpret my intentions. I very much want her to find some happiness.

  12. Many thanks for publishing your book. I too am an adult who was only diagnosed with Asperger’s in adulthood, and it has been fascinating to read about someone else in this position. My moment of realisation came when it was pointed out that there might be a reason why I got on best with Aspie kids, and understood their games and worries. It had been in the back of my mind – and as a teacher, I had been trained to spot it in others! – but I finally got an official diagnosis and haven’t looked back.
    Can I ask – in the book, you mention that reading a particular novel for your fiction class made something click… What was that novel? I would be very interested to read it.

  13. I have devoured this book. So much of it describes my childhood. I am 52 now and grew up in the West of Scotland, where my mother simply couldn’t cope with my strange ways. I too was a precocious reader – an aunt visited from Canada and went out and bought me a new compendium of stories as I knew all the ones I had by heart! I had the most extreme food issues – I only ate liver for about a year. I would chew a piece of meat for about half an hour before swallowing it. My biggest problem though was having my hair washed – I can still remember the panic it caused me. Socially I was a disaster and I was always getting in a muddle – I was like the archetypal nutty professor who is clever but useless in real life. Since my mother just wanted a daughter who would fit in, she suffered hugely! I loved learning French and German at secondary school, but really as a kind of sophisticated crossword puzzle – I had no interest in actually speaking these languages (and was completely hopeless at it too). I just liked learning the vocabulary and grammar and deciphering text. I seem to remember that all my play involved rearranging stuff e.g. the doll’s house furniture, or dressing dolls and then undressing them and carefully putting everything away. I loved arranging things alphabetically. I also loved bead pattern kits – making symmetrical patterns of course. I loved doing things ‘right’ and wouldn’t back down – I remember our class played daily games of ‘buzz’ which got more and more complicated. They went on until someone won. I always won – I was completely oblivious to how everyone else felt about that. I too was great at passing exams and everyone thought I was so clever. But if I wasn’t interested e.g. science, I wouldn’t bother. The thing is, I seemed to grow out of most of this when I went to university, but I now seem to be reverting back to many of my old ways. My big issue these days is other people (avoid!) and noise. Bizarrely, my husband and I adopted two children thirteen years ago and both of them (both girls) have turned out to be autistic. It is finding out more about their autism that has led me to consider what I was like as a child and which in turn led me to your book, Jeannie. I know so many other parents of girls on the spectrum now – I now live in south west London, which has extremely high levels of autism, so there are plenty of like-minded people. I have always been attracted to people on the spectrum – a lot of the people I do tolerate to be with are probably on the spectrum. I have since realised that my dad is probably autistic, as was his father, his sister, and various cousins on his side. My brother has twin boys and both have an Aspergers diagnosis. So I am used to it. Unfortunately, my Canadian relatives (all on my mum’s side) don’t ‘get’ us at all, and that has proved quite upsetting. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this book – I have been reading chunks of it to my husband and saying: “that’s me”. Thank you so much.

  14. Dear Ms. Davide-Rivera:

    My name is Shannon Beech, I was recently diagnosed with Autism at age 22 (one year ago). I am currently working on my Masters Degree. I am researching what common shared traits among those with Autism affect their social abilities. For my research class I would like to interview you, either over the phone or via Skype. Questions would mainly be as follows: Were you diagnosed, what led you to seek a diagnosis, how you were growing up, etc.

    If you would be willing to help me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

    Sincerely,

    Shannon M. Beech

  15. I just finished your book. I found it while looking for something to help my 24 year old daughter find answers to her struggles with what now seems to be undiagnosed Aspergers. I was in tears as I read several passages in your book which were near quotes of conversations I have had with her. Thank you for sharing your experiences. She is in clinical rotations in pharmacy school and is again spiraling out of control with anxiety and paranoia in anticipation of begining her career. We have other extended family members with Aspergers but I have always discounted the diagnosis for her because she excelled in sports. Your description of you ability to excel in dance helped me to see that she had that same extreme focus with softball. I will be passing the book on to her in hope that she will be able to see herself and be willing to be evaluated and find the answers she is so desperately seeking.

    • Hi Linda,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad that you enjoyed the book, and if it can give your daughters even a touch of comfort, or feel slightly less alone, than I have accomplished more than I could have hoped for.

      Please feel free to keep in touch, connect on Facebook, Twitter, linked in…if I can help in any way at all I am always willing.

  16. Dear Aspiewriter,

    I just have to tell you how much I enjoyed your book and admire you. I am a special education teacher. Your story helps me understand what my students are dealing with and gives me an insight into their perspective. I hope I can be a good memory for them and a bright piece in their puzzle, instead of a hindrance.

    Best of luck to your wonderful family!

    • Thank you so much, Amy. It is wonderful that you took the time to read in order to better understand your students. I have found so many teachers uninterested in learning more than they already know–especially when it comes to autism. I have found that many think they know what it is like for the children (or adults) but are often way off the mark, or they misunderstand many behaviors. Again, thank you so much for reading and working at being that bright piece in the puzzle!

  17. Loved your book we have an as grandchild he is 16 your book has helped me understand him better do you believe it would help him to understand himself and the way people relate to him if he read your book ?
    Thank you for sharing your story

    • Hi Larry,

      Thank you for your kind words; I am glad you enjoyed my book. I can tell you that for me, reading accounts of others who had experiences that mirrored my own was a tremendous learning experience. I learned so much about myself–but also keep in mind that I was a full-grown adult and not a 16 year old.

      I will say this, it may make him less alone in the world–just letting him see that there are others who are going through, or have went through what he may be experiencing. My main thoughts though are those about relationships at this age.

      Maybe understanding the whole mind-blindness thing, can help avoid some of the very painful, and repetitive mistakes that I did. I would say mention it, give him the option of reading if he wishes, but don’t push it on him.

      Again Larry, thanks you so much.
      Jeannie

  18. I loved your book! I just finished reading it and it was wonderful to get your input of every day living with your diagnosis. I work with a woman with the same diagnosis and your book has helped me tremendously with understanding what she’s experiencing on a daily basis.

    • Thank you Janice. I am glad you enjoyed the book, and I think it is wonderful that you took the time to read and try to understand your co-worker. There are so few people that take the time to even try to understand one another!

Don't just sit there, say something.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Autism Family Travels at Passportsandpushpins.com

    [instagram-feed]