Celebrating Aspie Dad on Father’s Day: Words from the Boys

How often do we really celebrate our ASD children’s Dads? I’m thinking if life is a hectic crazy mess day after day like ours, the answer is NOT OFTEN ENOUGH. So for Father’s Day 2013 I would like to post some pictures of Aspie Dad with his boys, along with their own words to their Dad.

(Aspie Dad’s blog: My Aspie Wife, can be found here.)

Dear Daddy (written by Mom),

I love you so much that I scream and cry for you all day long when your at work—driving Mommy crazy! Happy Father’s Day, Daddy

Love ,

Thomas (a.k.a. Tantrum Tot)

Dear Daddy,

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I hope this Father’s Day is the best one in years. Thank you for always helping me with my problems with Adam. My favorite thing for us to do together is Family Movie Night when we all get to be together doing the same thing. Maybe we can do that tonight.

I love you very much Daddy.

Love, Matthew (a.k.a. The Little Man – 9)

Hey Dad,

You’re a clean freak, you’re a suit monkey, and a literal pain in my butt—but I am glad you are my Dad and I would not trade you in.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day

Love,

Adam (a.k.a. Aspie Teen)

That was Aspie Teen’s attempt at sarcasm.

The pictures in this post were chosen by the boys as their “favorites” with their Dad.

To continue my rant on the awful Autism Accommodations offered at Carowinds Amusement Park in the Carolinas…

In Part II, I discussed the staff being ignorant of the supposed policies and procedures surrounding the use of Alternate Access Entrances, and Boarding Pass Accommodations meant to assist families visiting the park with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Each time we attempted the use of these “accommodations” we had a frustrating and often infuriating experience with staff members manning the park’s attractions.

I did report the problems we were having to Guest Services, and asked for further clarification of the policies. I wanted to ensure that I understood how it “should” work BEFORE I argued with their staff. Fortunately, I did understand correctly. We were told that we should never be made to wait in lines with the children, or for the children. If there was a wait more than ½ hour the attending staff member is required to give a return time. Additionally, I was told to have any staff that was having difficulty knowing what to do to call a supervisor. Of course doing so, would only cost more time, and cause more confusion.

The Good: Redeeming Trip Qualities

We always try to schedule our family vacations during the school year. I know many will say that we should not, or they would not take the kids out of school for a week in order to vacation. For us, the quality of our family time is worth way more than any one week in a classroom! Last year we made our visit to Orlando in early May ensuring to visit theme parks when the crowds were low because school was still in session. This year, we went during the last week of school and there were simply almost no lines on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday because those were the last three days of school here in South Carolina. I will say that I am very very glad we did too!

For the rest of the trip, (until Friday) we did not attempt nor need to use our accommodation passes because the lines were short and tolerable. Additionally, we spent most of our time at Boomerang Bay, which made the trip to Carowinds completely worth it.

The Tot absolutely loved the kids zones in Boomerang Bay (Carowinds Water Park) and the older boys loved the water slides, which were not crowded during the week, and adored the wave pool!

The Bad: Food Prices at the Park are Outrageous!

I am still having difficulty getting over paying $7.00 dollars for an ice cream cone for the Tot! Yes, the ice cream cone cost $5.99 (a regular sized cone that you can get at McDonald’s for a dollar) and they charged an additional .99 for sprinkles!

Most meals were priced at approximately $10 per meal (per person) and the food was not good. There was little there that my little ones, who are very picky eaters, would eat. Luckily, we already know we can only do a couple of hours in the parks each day, and ensured we had five days to visit, so we ate all our meals outside. We bought lunch and ate before we went in, and with the park closing at 6:00 pm most nights that week it was easy to wait until closing time in order to get dinner.

We were able to buy a bucket of popcorn for $4.99, which was refillable for the whole season for only .99 cents each refill. This was a good deal for us, since all the kids love popcorn for a snack. We also purchased a season refillable cup. The cup itself cost $12.99 with soft drinks refillable all day long the day of purchase for FREE and for the rest of the season for .99. For us, this was also a good deal considering there are five of us, and a large drink in the park costs $4.99. We refilled our cup many many many times!

The Ugly: Terrible Autism Accommodations

To sum it up, we had a lovely trip because it was a slow week. But the times we needed to, or attempted to use the appropriate accommodations for our children on the rides at the park they proved more trouble than what they were worth. After day one (Monday, Memorial Day), we did not use the passes again until Friday. However, on Friday the two times we did use the passes were meet with the same types of difficulties that we had on Monday.

Specific Difficulties:

White Water Falls

The boys entered through the exit/alternate access entrance only to be turned away and told that it was “hazardous” to allow anyone to board through that entrance. Really? Why do you have an alternate access entrance, and how in the world could it be hazardous. They sent the boys to wait in line.

The Intimidator

I am very proud to announce that Aspie Teen has conquered his fear of heights and roller coasters and ran from coaster to coaster all week proving it to himself!

Hubby went to the Intimidator with Aspie Teen with his Alternate Access. They ushered Aspie Teen to the entrance to wait at the front ALONE while Hubby stood in line. When Hubby reached the front of the line, they allowed Aspie Teen to board the ride with him. Again, the line was not too long, but no one should have been made to wait in line while the child with accommodations waited alone. If the Teen would have fled (as he had in the past trying to conquer this particular fear) we would not have known which way to go look for him.

Carowinds Gets a Big Fat “F”

For these reasons, and those outlined in the first two parts of my review of Carowinds, I give them a big fat F!!! They failed tremendously in providing accommodations appropriate for those with Autism Spectrum Disorders, AND many of their behaviors could have put an ASD child in danger. (i.e. making them wait alone and unattended while the parent waits in line).  And in the process managed to act bored, annoyed and frustrated the whole time we were speaking to them about it.

Our Aspie Family had a great time on our vacation, spent some wonderful family time, and watched the Tot splash around like a madman for hours in the kiddie pools. But, if you are considering Carowinds for your ASD families vacations, know that the accommodations (unless the park trains their staff and addresses these issues) are completely useless.

Keep in mind that I am now a pregnant, hot, tired, autistic woman dragging my three boys to the park after a three hour trip from home to our hotel. During said trip, we had a hot engine light come on and pulled off the interstate in order to check it out. While we were pulling off the exit our back tire blew ensuring we were not going anywhere for a while.

I ran after Tantrum Tot for 45 minutes in the parking lot of a gas station while Hubby unloaded the whole vehicle in order to change the tire and let the vehicle cool down—not fun. (In the Jeep the spare tire in beneath the floor board in the back so all the luggage was stacked on top of it.)

We arrived at the hotel at 3:30 pm(check-in was at 3:00 pm) to find our room was not ready—more running around after Tantrum Tot in the lobby until 4:00 pm while they readied the room. We skipped going to Carowinds altogether that day because after all it was Memorial Day and I knew the park would be crowded. Besides, the kids just really wanted to go swimming. When I asked where the pool was, I was informed that it was closed and will hopefully be opening the following day because someone threw glasses off the 8^th floor balcony into the pool!

When the room was finally ready we were told that breakfast will be served until 9:30 the following morning—only. I always choose hotels that include breakfast because with the three boys heading out for breakfast is not practical, costs too much money, and they usually eat very little. Apparently, they were opening a new restaurant on Wednesday morning where we could purchase breakfast. I was not happy!

Up in our room I found that the last occupants tore an entire doorframe off the wall leaving exposed nails for the Tot to hurt himself on—it took another half hour to move our room. I was flustered and aggravated to say the least when we decided to take the boys to the park for the evening (they were closing at 8:00 pm) and in no mood to deal with pure stupidity.

First stop: Roaring Rapids

—always one of the boy’s favorites. They love love love water, and love getting drenched on water rides so it was no surprise that was the first ride they wanted to go on, and it is located right in the front of the park so I thought that worked out rather well—it didn’t.

The instructions were to go into the exits of the rides, which was usually where the alternate access entrances were located in order to board and/or get a time to return—or go right to the staff who was outside of each ride. The first problem was that there was no staff to be found outside of the attraction.

In order to access a staff member I had to walk with the boys all way through to the exit, which was a good lengthy walk, to the attraction—only to be turned back and told to enter through the fast pass entrance.

We walked up the fast pass line entrance, and had to hunt down a staff member to let us through the chain (no one was manning the entrance), and then were ushered up to the ride loading area.

Once there, we waited, and waited. When the person manning the ride was good and ready, they approached us and I showed her our passes. She wrote down a time for us to return to the ride (one hour later!). I asked what the procedures were (maybe I had misunderstood at Guest Services) and was told that if the line was longer than a half hour wait, we were required to wait one full hour before returning to board.

Ok—my first issue. The boarding time is supposed to be equal to the wait time not a standard come back in an hour on our boarding passes.

When I asked how I would know how long of a wait a ride had, because there was no one at the entrance and you had to wrestle yourself past people actually waiting in line to gain access to staff, she told me that I could ask any staff member or supervisor—not helpful at all.

It did not take a small amount of time for us to finally get our boarding time, and by this time my 9 year-old was half way to his first meltdown because he was standing on the boarding platform, after waiting, and walking to that platform twice only to be told to come back in an hour.

Happy First Ride in Carowinds for me!

Second Stop was Snoopy Planet

–in order for the Tot to go on some rides because by this time he was very restless. Hubby had been running around with him outside the ride, while he screamed because he wanted to follow us during this whole fiasco. We figured we would spend some time letting him do things while we waited for the hour to pass.

(There is another catch by the way, while you await your return time, you cannot collect any other return times on other rides—not until a staff member signs that you rode the one you were waiting for.)

Snoopy Planet is where I encountered the

STUPIDEST THING I WAS TOLD ALL WEEK!

Considering you will hear many outrageously stupid comments from ignorant, incompetent, or lazy staff, my labeling this one as the stupidest by far is big!

The Tot is only big enough to go on five rides in the entire park, and they should not have been this difficult. In Snoopy Planet, I ran into the most difficulty with accommodations (yes, on the kiddie rides) than any other area of the park.

The Flying Ace Race

—a little ride that goes up in the air and round and round. The Tot is small (less than 36 inches) and can only ride with an adult, which should not have been an issue because the pass is for him and THREE OTHER GUESTS!

Hubby went to the ride operator and asked where he should wait and showed her his pass. The lines were long because it was Memorial Day. It was fairly crowded, but they were definitely nowhere near a half hour or an hour for this little ride—but still there was no way the Tot would wait with the other people. Hubby was told that he had to wait in line, while leaving the Tot outside the gate. When he reached the front of the line, she would allow the Tot to board through the exit.

Hubby is just not one to argue with anyone—unlike me, so he left the line dragging a screaming Tot along behind him to tell me what he needed to do. Another woman and her son waited by the exit of the ride showed her passes and the attendant allowed her and her son to board immediately. So I calmly walked to the exit with my three boys all passes in hand without hubby and showed her their passes expecting her to load them onto the ride. She told me that I had to wait in line for them. Keep in mind that I am pregnant and not allowed to ride ANY of these rides, but was told I had to stand in the wait in line anyway even though I was not riding.

I asked her where the alternate waiting area was in order for me to wait, and she pointed to the side of the gate and said “the kids can wait there.”

Are you kidding me?

SHE WANTED ME TO LEAVE THREE AUTISTIC CHILDREN (One being only two-years old, and attached to a leash because he takes off at the drop of a hat!) UNATTENDED SITTING ON A WALL OUTSIDE THE RIDE WHILE I GOT ON THE LINE AND WAITED!

Hubby was NOT with me!

I asked her what the wait time was and showed her the boarding pass, and she told me that it was over an hour, but still refused to actually give us a time to come back to ride. That is when I was seriously ready to start kicking stupid people in their shins!

When I refused to leave the boys alone, or walk away from her ride she allowed the boys to enter but said that ONLY THEY COULD ENTER, even though the Tot could not ride without an adult (my husband).

I again, had to show her what the passes said about the child and three people in the part for EACH PASS, and she still argued. It was ridiculous.

In the end, she did allow Hubby to board the ride with the Tot, who finally got to ride his little balloon race thing—but it was a hassle; a hassle which continued through the whole trip because at each and every ride I either had to fight for the right to use the passes or explain what they were and how they worked.

After only one ride in Snoopy Planet, the hour wait was up and we walked back to the Roaring Rapids, entered through the Fast Pass entrance with the boarding passes showing the time had lapsed. Again, we had to find a staff member to allow us through because no one was there, and when we arrived at the boarding zone (through the fast pass line) no one looked our way until I called them.

It was a different staff member than before who told us that she would get them on the next boat. Four went by, I called her over again, she made a phone call and finally got them boarded—but did not sign our passes saying that they had rode, which took even more time. She obviously had to call someone to ask what to do because she had no idea.

Once the boys were on the ride, I had to exit the way I came in, pushing past people waiting in line in order to go to the exit to meet the boys when their ride was done.

For the final ride of the evening we went back to Snoopy Planet, and the two bigger ones wanted to ride the…

Aerial Chase

(a small roller coaster). We followed the procedure, walked into the exit (alternate access entrance) were told to wait there behind the yellow line. The operator took our passes while we waited without letting us know how long the wait would be. At the end of the current ride, he returned, handed us back the passes, and said, “I don’t have a pen right now.”

He actually turned and walk away from us intending not to let the boys on OR give a return time because he did not have a pen! I followed him up to the ride exit, and handed the passes back to him. “You don’t have a pen…so??”

He gave a little start and looked at me, and stuttered, “I guess I can let them right on now then.”

Yes—well I guess he didn’t expect me to follow him!

Three rides, four hours, frustrated family—we left and returned to the park the following day.

Tell me…do you want Part III??

I usually like to pass on information about good experiences, and great accommodations, but in Carowind’s case I simply cannot. I did my research before we went on vacation, ensuring that the park did indeed have accommodations. You can find them on Carowind’s website.

This is the thing I would like others to understand about traveling, and/or visiting amusement/theme parks with ASD children: it takes our families more time (and more money) than the typical family to visit these parks, and many times our children have difficulty enjoying them. As parents, we work hard to ensure our children have a good time, while at the same time trying to not pull our own hair out of our heads!

I do not seek accommodations because I am trying to get out of standing in line, or because I think it is a perk my children receive for having autism; I seek accommodations because they make the trips possible! Not easier; just possible. Without accommodations at parks, we would likely not be able to visit AND if we did, it would not be an enjoyable trip.

Our trip to Carowinds took five days. Most families do not need five days to see the park with their children; in fact, they can usually do that park in a day or two at the most. For us, we can only visit for a few hours per day, so in order for our children to enjoy the park the way others can, we need more time there.

What does that all mean? That means 5 days admission price instead of one—or two, and a five day hotel stay instead of none, or just overnight accommodations. It means feeding a family of five for a week, and not being able to take the children to these parks as often as others, or as often as they would like to go. It means a lot of work, walking, and effort on our parts. To ask for accommodations in order for the park to take our money to visit is but a small thing. Can you tell I am getting myself all riled up before I even tell you about the accommodations, or what happened?

First the Good (since the list is short): Seasons Passes; Alternate Entrance Passes; and Boarding Passes

Carowinds offered Season passes for less than the price of two day’s admission, and the passes have a payment plan where they can be paid over 6 payments. Although we live three hours from the park, and will likely not visit again this season, just having them for the five days we were there saved us a bundle of money. Additionally, with the Gold Season pass, we received free parking and ten percent off all purchases in the park, which was great. Five days of parking at $15.00 per day would have cost us $75.00 alone!

When we entered the park, after having our pictures taken and season passes issued, we proceeded directly to Guest Services where I informed them that I am visiting with three autistic children. I requested Alternate Entry Passes, and Guest Boarding Passes (as informed by their website).

Guest Services were knowledgeable, respectful, and quickly filled out the required paperwork. It did not take long, and we were issued 6 pieces of paper. The three Alternate Entry passes allow us to enter the rides through the exit, or wheelchair entry without having to wait in long, crowded lines with children that could not wait amongst that many people.

We were also issued three Boarding passes (one for each child) which were meant to be used if the lines had more than a half hour wait. In this case, since the passes are not intended to allow the kids to ride with no waiting, the ride operator would give a written time (based on the line length) to return and ride without waiting. In other words, if the line is 30 minutes long, you still waited the 30 minutes to ride, but did not have to stay in line to do so.

When the return time is up, you proceed to the alternate entrance of the ride, present your boarding pass and ride without waiting. Remember, you have already waited the same amount of time as if you stood on line but were free to walk around the park, or in our case chase the Tantrum Tot around the park while we waited. Each pass, whether alternate entry or boarding pass was good for entry of the disabled individual AND THREE OF THEIR GUESTS.

These accommodations seem like they would be helpful and adequate—if they worked the way they should have, AND if the staff manning the attractions were knowledgeable, and/or helpful. They were neither!

Next: Autism Accommodations—Carowinds Amusement Park; Receives a Big Fat “F”: Part II

What Happened?

From BBC News Magazine:

“The biggest changes for many in DSM-5 was the news that disorders related to autism that previously had their own category – such as Autistic Disorder, Asperger’s Disorder, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified – will now all be classified as one diagnosis, Autism Spectrum Disorder.

This essentially eliminates Asperger’s as its own clinical condition – but the chance that the idea of Asperger’s, or those who call themselves Aspies, will disappear is slim”

FULL STORY: HERE

I came across this article today when checking my blog’s stats. I realized that I had a tremendous amount of hits (in the hundreds) from this one website/link.  When I clicked to investigate I found this article, in which, my own article responding to the DSM-V changes is quoted. 

I was fairly silent last week while our family was on vacation at Carowinds Amusement Park here in South Carolina. My intention was to write short blog entries each day of our trip to keep in touch with you all, but after just a few shorts hours in the park each day I could barely stand to keep my eyes open.

Why, oh why, do I continue to visit amusement parks when I am pregnant? I must be out of my mind! The last time we were at Carowinds was in 2010, when I was pregnant with Tantrum Tot.

I had not realized that I seem to make a habit of dragging myself to amusement parks when I am pregnant. It occurred to me that the first time Hubby and I went to Disney world, (on our one year wedding anniversary), I was pregnant with Aspie Teen and it was August! Someone please stop me from doing this to myself!

Anyway, since I could not keep my eyes open, or move most of the muscles in my body last week, I thought I would share our trip via Hubby’s blog posts. He apparently was able to keep his eyes open and write a few blog posts while I snored like a bear in the bed next to him.

(One of my favorite pictures! Tantrum Tot was desperately trying to get that cookie from Snoopy, screaming “It’s stuck!)

Hubby’s blog posts about this year’s Carowinds vacation:

Asperger’s Syndrome Family on Vacation

Yes, I live for vacations! Ok, not vacations—adventures.

Aspie Family Getaway Day 1

Photos from Aspie Family Vacation

I am in the last picture with my three boys looking like I am going to fall off the wall like humpty dumpty.

Aspie Dad and Tantrum Tot

End of Aspie Vacation

Hubby and I just came back from a week’s vacation at Carowinds Amusement Park in South Carolina. Last year, we took the boys to Disney and Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. The boys, and I, love to visit theme parks and have learned some things along the way (all of them the hard way I assure you). So I thought I was post my thoughts on top tips for vacationing (specifically visiting amusement parks, because that is our thing) with ASD children. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments box we can all use more of them!

1. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Accept that everything you plan to do will somehow get muddied up and learn to go with the flow (so not my strong point). Everything that you plan to do will cost more and take longer. I find that what will take a typical family one day to accomplish may take us several days.

For example, if we want to visit an amusement park we need to do it over several days at short intervals. Many people visit theme parks and get there when the park opens—staying until closing. This is not possible for our family. That is too long of a day without a break and the children cannot handle that period of time in an environment with overwhelming stimuli. Not only is this a lot of work, but it costs more than just dragging the kids through a park for one day. It more money in theme park tickets to go on multiple days, and then there are the hotel stays.

2. DO NOT EAT OUT IN RESTAURANTS—EVER.

This is the new mantra around our house. For years we tried to act “normal”. We thought we should be able to take our children to a restaurant and have them behave the way we observed “neuro-typical” children behaving with their families.

Before we were aware of autism in our family, we as parents always felt like failures—like our kids were misbehaved monsters that we could not control. And yes, that is exactly how others made us feel too. If we attempt to eat out now, hubby and I usually never make it to actually eat our meals. The meals wind up in “to go” boxes along with most of the kid’s food too.

Getting all three boys to sit still and wait for their food to be served is nearly impossible, and by the time the food arrives we are in frenzy ready to leave. This mistake has caused us so much grief over the years because we wind up upset, angry at the kids, and hungry. Plus it costs us money to NOT EAT!

Now, we still “eat out” when we are on vacation, but we always order our food and take it to go back to our hotel room. Not only does this allow us to eat in a relaxed manner, the kids are calm and actually get to eat their food. AND it saves us a ton of money.

How, you ask since we are still ordering from restaurants? Drinks and tips. I calculated that we are saving $15-$20 on EACH MEAL by eating in the hotel room and buying drinks that are kept in our hotel room refrigerator. The average cost for soft drinks in a restaurant is $2.19 per person—for a family of 5 (soon to be six) that is over $10 just for drinks times 3 meals per day…plus tips. We save about $10 more dollars per meal by order “to go” because we save on having to tip for service that we usually do not receive because we are hurrying out the door as soon as our food arrives! $50-60 bucks per day on drinks and tips can really add up during a week’s vacation!

3. AWAYS ASK FOR ACCOMMODATIONS!

Before we go anywhere, especially when it comes to Amusement Parks I make a point of researching what type, if any, autism accommodations they offer. Accommodations range from having a quiet place to wait your turn in line for rides, being able to use an Alternate Entrance, or able to keep your child in the stroller (using the stroller as a wheelchair) when accessing areas where you usually have to take them out and try to hold onto them while parking the stroller in another area. The park websites usually have information on what accommodations are available and how to access them. Unfortunately, not all theme parks are created equally, and some places have great accommodations, while others really stink.

4. BRING SUNGLASSES, SUNSCREEN, AND EARPLUGS OR NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES.

Nothing is worse than walking around in the sunshine not being able to see because the sun is too bright for your eyes, your skin is hot and burning (or in my case my ankles because I failed to put the sunblock that far down my legs), and the kids (and mommy) are having meltdowns because everything is loud, flashing and overwhelming!

Ensuring we all have our sunglasses helps with the brightness, and instantly calms my nerves because I can see, and it lessens headaches and discomfort that I begin to get when out in the bright sun too long. The sunblock is something I always used to forget about until it was too late! Day two or three is too late when your skin is already burning and he had a horrible night’s sleep because the sheets were unbearable against your skin.

Bringing earplugs is a necessity for us! The crowds get loud, and I find it difficult to concentrate on what any one person is saying even if they are right next to me. Then of course there is the roar of the roller coasters thundering overhead. Wearing earplugs helps to filter out the background noise that I am unable to filter on my own. Aspie Teen prefers earphones, and when he is getting stressed will slip them on along with some music from his phone and walk along in the crowds with a new sense of calm.

5. GIVE EACH KID A MAP AND LET THEM PLAN WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

The park maps tend to have pictures of all the rides, which gives my boys a visual picture of what to expect and what they want to do. Plus, it provides us with ride/height requirements so that we can plan and in IN ADVANCE what each child is able to ride. This one thing—knowing ahead of time, has diverted many meltdowns.

My 9 year-old is a sensory seeker and loves rollercoasters. The problem is that he wants to go on all of them, and he is too small! Many times we were unaware of requirements until we arrived, or happen to pass by a ride that grabbed his attention only to find he was too small—instant meltdown!

Planning in advance, letting him know exactly what his choices are has stopped those meltdowns (well most of them). Sometimes he still has mini-meltdowns because he really wants to try out a ride that he is too small for, but at least they are over with rather quickly, and usually occur before we leave the hotel room to head to the park. Then he just complains that he is too short and wants to grow taller. I think the key is in his expectations. When he knows what to expect he can cope, when he has a plan in his head, he and it gets foiled, he is less able to cope with his disappointment.

I am in the process of writing my post about Carowinds’ Autism Accommodations (here’s a hint: it is NOT good) and it will be linked below. To read the posts from last year’s trip about Disney and Universal click the links below.

Amusement Parks we have visited and our experiences with accommodations:

Disney World

Universal Studios

Carowinds

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE SUGGESTIONS/TIPS TO SHARE FOR VACATIONING OR VISITING AMUSEMENT PARKS WITH YOUR ASD CHILDREN???  PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!

Proud of the Little Man

Today was the last day of school for the little man (9).  For us, anyway. We are going out of town for the week so he will not be attending the half week filled with half days of school next week.  So for us, it is officially SUMMER VACATION!

Incidentally today was also Field Day!  Little man has begged me all week to come to field day, which is why the Tot was home yesterday—because he needed to go to daycare today.  No information was sent home as to what time the activities were beginning so Hubby called the school this morning just before 8 a.m to find out.

(Little Man is dropped at school about 7:30)

The women who answered the phone in the office, put him on hold to find out what time my little guy’s class was scheduled.  She came back on the line and told him around 10:30-10:45.  Great! I can take a tiny nap before heading over there.

Field Day

When I was through scarfing down a bagel I’d grabbed on my way to the school it was just about 10:40—perfect timing, or so I thought.  I walked into the office, signed in, and was told, “Oh no, third grade went out at 9 am.”  What?? She said that someone must have given my husband the wrong information this morning.

I might add that the only someone that answers that phone is the one who was blaming someone else!!! Very frustrating because I knew how much the little man was wanting me to come to school, and EXPECTING me to show up.  You see the problem here right?  I hurried out to the field just in time to watch his class walking off the grass heading back into the classroom—and my son was wrapped up in a Hot Pink Towel!

Little Man’s revenge plot

I suppose the pink towel was a good thing because it distracted him from being extremely upset that I was not at school as I had promised.  (Yes, I am still angry.) He blew that portion of his morning off when I had explained what happened with a stomp of his foot and  “STUPID OFFICE!”

The Little guy was too distracted plotting his revenge on his Dad to be upset that I wasn’t there. Apparently, his (partially color-blind) father thought that he packed him a red towel (reds, pinks, and oranges are difficult for him) but instead packed the biggest brightest hot pink towel that you can imagine in the little man’s bag.

When I arrived the little guy was plotting to put a red shirt into the washer when Dad’s white clothes were in there in order to make Dad have to wear pink clothes to work!  The thought of turning all Dad’s whites to pink seemed to really cheer him up!

All in all though, even with the disappointment of my not being there, and his embarrassment at having a pink towel he held his composure. No meltdown!  He had a good day!

The Heat and the Hormones

Yesterday just was not a good day. It began at 7 a.m. with a whiny, cranky, Tantrum Tot (2) waking me up by smacking me and saying “Bad, bad.” Don’t know what Mom did this morning, but whatever it was, it is bad! Maybe he just did not like that he woke and found me fast asleep in bed.

I ran the little man (9) to school about 7:30, and Tantrum Tot was already not a happy camper. I only have him enrolled in daycare/preschool three days per week.  I am happy to announce that daycare is going much better than it has previously. He is having better days, and is not a screaming mess during the evening hours when he comes home.  But, yesterday was an “off” day so the Tot was home all day.

He literally screamed from 7:30 a.m. until 11:30 without ceasing.  Screamed, pulled on me, would not eat, would not get dressed, and there was really no indication of what the problem was. Finally, he asked to “go go,” which means he wants to leave the house and he allowed me to dress him.

We went to my mother’s where the plan was for him to play a little while I came back home, got some work done, and possibly a little bit of peace and quiet.  By this time, I had already been reduced to rocking tears—twice.

Back to the heat and the hormones—it is hot here in South Carolina, and being now 6 months pregnant with the whole summer to go—it feels even hotter.  My issues with temperature regulation are more pronounced during pregnancy, which I think is only normal since pregnant woman without sensory integration and temperature regulation issues are miserable in the hot summer months.  The heat was beginning to really get to me, and the screaming and crying that the Tot was dishing out was not helping—preggo hormones added into the mix resulted in a very tearful day.

When we arrived at my mother’s the Tot refused to get out of the car—he wanted “park park.” I had Aspie Teen with me who only wanted to get home to cool off, shower, and relax after a screaming Tot morning and now was dragged along to the park.  Aspie Teen complained and moaned the entire time we were out, which was driving me crazy after the morning we had, and I was headed toward serious overload.

OVERLOAD AND MAMA MELTDOWN

Sitting in the park in the heat listening to Aspie Teen complain was getting to me.  The park excursion ended when the Tot was ready to go. He grabbed his knapsack and headed back to the car where Aspie Teen was standing looking miserable.  Before we were packed back into the car I must have screamed at him (Aspie Teen) ten times!

Back at Grandma’s the Tot decided he was now going to cooperate.  He got out of the car, waved bye to me, and rushed off into Grandma’s house. The problem here is that by the time I got home I was so overwhelmed and overloaded that it took me a few hours just to calm myself long enough to try to take a nap! All hope of work was out the window.

Finally about 2:00 pm I was calm enough to lay down and doze off.  It lasted about 45 minutes to which I woke because I felt like someone one was kicking me in a full bladder.  Oh, ya…someone was–

Ever have to wee and have to hold it to the point where you are in so much pain you feel like your bladder is going to explode? That is how I felt when I woke up from my way too short nap.

NAP DIDN’T HELP

I was still just as overloaded when I woke from my nap then before I went to bed.  Usually I can rely on a little re-boot at least but it didn’t happen.  Little man came home from school, and it was just about time to pick up the Tot from Grandma’s AND Aspie Teen was being a miserable hormonal teenager! Plus I had not eaten the entire day! Not a good combination.

By the time Hubby got home from work, I was a mess.  Aspie Teen complained about what we were having for dinner and I lost it.  Could not stop the tears, and had to retreat into my own corner in the living room for several more hours without talking to anyone.

By the time I went to bed, I could not calm myself enough to even read, which is how I usually decompress.  I could not stop the tears, and I couldn’t explain with words why I was crying AND I was out of melatonin so I could not fall asleep!

Feeling better today so far…but I have gotten far too little sleep (the Tot woke me at 6 a.m.), but at least he is at daycare and was not a cranky  monster this morning. Tomorrow begins our week long family vacation and I have to find a way to get my act together and relax before then. Vacations, although I love them, are a hugely stressful event!

Hyper-Reactivity to Sensory Input

Today has been on of those days; those days that my senses are so hyped-up every little touch or sensation drives me out of my mind. There seems to be no rhythm or rhyme to when this occurs.  I am sensitive all the time, every day, and every moment, but some days are just worse.

It began in the middle of the night, or maybe in the early twilight hours while hubby was getting ready for work in the morning. I started to toss and turn and feel all the little piles on the sheets, and my mind woke up thinking, “Damn it, I  need new sheets.”

I fell back to sleep only to start feeling like I was being eaten alive. I snatched the covers back, checked my legs, hunted the bed for the hidden “bugs” that were “biting” me, and found—you guessed it—nothing!  Yes, that is right—nothing. No bites on my legs, only red streaks from my own scratching. This happens a lot, and when it does I know I am in for an overly sensitive day.

I am especially susceptible to the crawling feelings on  my skin.  Many days it feels like I have ants crawling all over me. I jump, I scratch, I tear off my clothing looking for those little suckers because I must have “ants in my pants” (Thank you very much to my second grade teacher—the visual never left my head!).  Of course, I always find exactly the same thing—nothing.

I swear most days I can feel the micro-organisms that live on human skin, living on me! I absolutely detest body hair because I think I can feel it grow.  I can’t even count how many times I thought there was a bug on me (can you tell I have a bug phobia) only to find out that it was an arm hair that tickled me.  I always assumed that all people (before my diagnosis and learning about autism) could feel their own body hair, or the piles on the sheets and wondered why I was the only it drove absolutely crazy.

This morning I was exhausted, put my head down on my pillow and was out like a light (drool and all) in two minutes flat! I was woken by the feeling that things were running over my skin. I screamed, jumped out of bed, and began my search again.  I have a tremendous fear that the day I do not search and look there will really be something on me! That ended nap time.

On an additional note, these are also the days that I fear brushing my teeth because I know the gagging will follow, and the shower water will feel like small shards of glass hitting my skin!  I wonder now if these super sensitive days are really contributing to the poor sleep that many autistics experience, or if the screaming and squirming that the children do are really an expression of this particular discomfort???

Anyone else experience these skin crawling sensitivities?