OUR QUEST FOR A SERVICE DOG
Several months ago we began our journey to obtain an autism service dog for the Tot. As many of you know, he has had so much difficulty. He darts away from us in public places, and runs out into traffic. We have been doing some research into how to get a service dog online and we have decided that a service dog will help us in so many ways. Not only will a dog help the Tot, help us managing his running and elopement, and his meltdowns, but will also be able to help the Little Man.
Little man been experiencing many many emotional regulation issues lately. We have been battling his anger, frustrating and depression which has been fierce of late. Additionally, the little man (10), the one who we considered to be the least “effected” by his autism is displaying many symptoms of fearlessness (among others) as I like to put it.
FEARLESSNESS IS TERRIFYING
The ten-year-old has never met a stranger. He recently went out fund raising, selling candy for his school, door-to-door, to stranger’s homes WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE! He nearly brought a strange man right into our home who was “selling meat.” (Yes-meat.) This man became very angry when my husband told him “no” and sent him away. The little man could not perceive these dangers, and had an angry outburst turned meltdown when my husband would not allow him to go back outside until we were this strange man was gone-very scary!
At ten years old we want to be able to allow him outside to play because he LOVES to be outside, but we recently caught him on top of a neighbor’s roof (a two-story building), and then he fell out of a tree he’d climbed to the top of…luckily he was able to slide most the way down, but his side looked like he’d rubbed it on a cheese grater-of course, it did not stop him from climbing right back up the tree a few days later! We are hoping that a service dog will help all of us look after each other!
THE FANTASTIC NEWS
In June, we applied for a scholarship/grant program through Service Dogs by Warren Retrievers. We knew it was a long shot, but with the service dogs being so expensive, and time to fund raise so limited with three ASD boys, and an infant, we decided to go for it! Our application was submitted in a mad rush ONE MINUTE BEFORE DEADLINE!
Our prayer in the wind was answered a couple of weeks later when we were notified that the our family had been chosen to receive the grant!! I could not believe it; it didn’t feel real, and it still does not! But-it is real, and the Tot will be receiving his service dog soon! By soon, I mean hopefully with in the next several months. It takes 7-9 months to be paired with a dog, and we are awaiting our “call” to tell us when he or she will be coming home to us! We are very excited and hopeful that this new edition to our family will bring much joy, hope and peace of mind. Thanks so much Warren Retrievers!
To be specific, with “very rosy marketing copy”, here is an example from the article “Answers to Common Questions about Autism Service Dogs” on Warren’s website:
It is pure marketing copy that does not answer any real questions.
Something is not right about that company. Try to google “warren retrievers complaints” and there are heaps of results on the first google pages already – some of them with the word “scam” in them (as far as I can tell it is about their diabetes dogs, I didn’t see any complaints about autism dogs but just skimmed briefly). Try googling any other smaller normal business with “complaints”, and you won’t see that kind of results. I would never do business with a company without doing a negative search first to check for “dirt”. Most companies have few or no complaints on the SERPs and if there are any, that’s reason to be very cautious.
It is also critical to have realistic expectations and remember the dog’s psychological needs in the equation too. A service dog isn’t a magic pill that solve all problems, it is an individual animal with its own needs for understanding, respect for its personal space, understanding of its personality, good calm everyday structure et.c, and if its needs are not being understood and met then it can develop issues of its own like anxiety, depression and poor focus that prevent it from doing a good job, or perhaps function at all… Plus, a dog’s quality of life matters in its own right, for service dogs too. I’m not saying all those complainers had it wrong and didn’t consider their dogs’ needs, but perhaps the company’s very rosy marketing copy combined with its training methods has something to do with why all those dogs couldn’t do their jobs as well as their owners expected.
I think it is essential to explore detailed experiences of people for whom an autism dog worked well (but skip all the rosy marketing copy that’s floating around), and compare with detailed experiences by people who got disappointed (the ones who are willing to admit it and talk about what went wrong), and try to identify patterns in the differences between them (everything: expectations and attitudes, training methods and duration, family life structure, rules and routines et.c) and then try to develop a sense of best practices (as objectively as possible) and pitfalls long before the dog arrives, and use it to guide all decisions from the early beginning. Such as whether to accept a particular dog or not, which rules and routines to set up around the dog at home and out, what the dog needs and how to put safe structures in place around those needs, scenario plan how to handle potential conflicts and abuse, practical issues that may come up, and so on.
Very good advice…expectations are very high many times and that is why it is so easy to be let down. Having a service dog is definitely not a magic pill, and I think many people forget that the dogs–are still dogs. I know I did for a while–wanting him to be perfectly behaved (meaning not behave like a dog!) We are still learning, and working with Rocky, and struggling in many areas–it is a long process. Make no mistake about it thought, it is a lot of work too…although work that can pay huge dividends–work none the less, and I think this is the aspect that many families do not realize in advance.
Kudos to your family. I’m sure it will be a wonderful experience!