• Understanding Autism from the Inside

    “Academics came easily to me. The rest of life—not so much.”
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I’ve been gone for so long…

I think about you all often, and I can’t seem to make my way to the keyboard. I’m drowning sometimes…drowning in fears, children’s needs, my own failures, and wrestling with my own perfection.

Its been a hard few years…I almost said a few months, but it seems as though I blink and years have gone by and I don’t know how to stop it. Can I stop it? No, none of us can, but that clock, and calendar haunt me day by day and hour by hour. The clock yells, hurry up, you are running out of time, you are not getting enough done–look you wasted more time today! But it sees like it doesn’t really matter how much I accomplish in a day, there is always more, I’ve not gotten ENOUGH done!

So I am putting it out there today–life is hard. I’m struggling to be enough for everyone all the time, all at once, and I always feel like I am failing. And I realized today that I keep thinking that I “should” have this life thing sorted out by now…I should know the answers. Be the answer.

And I fail at it every. single. day.

Jeannie Davide-Rivera

Jeannie is an award-winning author, the Answers.com Autism Category Expert, contributes to Autism Parenting Magazine, and the Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. She lives in New York with her husband and four sons, on the autism spectrum.